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9 Essential Things to Know Before Joining Couples Hooking Up

Couples Hooking Up

Do you like the idea of joining couples hooking up but feel overwhelmed to try it out?

You’re not the only one. Many people have this fantasy but only a few act on it.

It’s an entirely new experience from regular hookups, so it’s only natural to feel uncertain or scared. After all, having a threesome or swapping partners is still taboo.

But the hesitation will go away once you know what to expect. And it would also make the overall experience more enjoyable since you won’t be caught off guard.

So before you embark on this sexual adventure with couples, here are 9 things you need to know:


1. Understand Why You Want It

Understanding why you want to join other couples for a hook up is important to establish boundaries.

To give you some perspective, here are some potential reasons that might be making you consider it:

  • You’re doing it out of curiosity
  • You fantasize about it
  • You want to try something new and crazy

Your thought process may not be limited to this, but the point is that regardless of what your reason is.

So be honest with yourself. It will help you decide if it is worth the effort and potential risks.


2. Sexual Transmitted Diseases

Talking about risks, society has gone for monogamous relationships to reduce the risk of STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Obviously, when a couple is open to having sex with other people, they face a higher risk to contract a sexually transmitted disease. The most common is Genital Herpes.

For the safety and health of everyone, it would be best for you to have a talk with the couple about their sexual history.

It would be ideal to request that they get tested and have yourself tested as well.

We know it’s a delicate topic, and you may want to skip it. Going into it blindly is undoubtedly much easier.

But you wouldn’t be happy to take home any STDs, would you?

This is why you need to have an honest and serious talk with them. Moreover, you won’t feel over-worried when the couple you’ll be hooking up is clean.


3. Know Each Other’s Limits

Are they open to anal sex? Sex toys? Costumes? These questions need answers if you’re going to have fun hooking up with a couple.

They obviously know each other’s likes and dislikes in the bedroom. On the other hand, you have no clue, and that goes the same for them about your preferences.

In light of this, somebody could do something to you that you don’t want. To ensure that this doesn’t happen, every person involved must understand and know each other’s limits.

Doing this will guarantee that you’ll have a great hook up experience.


4. Get Ready for All Sexualities

When you’re participating in a three or foursome, you need to open yourself to both male and female bodies.

Of course, there’s an exception when you’re hooking up with same sex couples but that is unlikely.

This is the reason couple hookups can also be great for self-exploration.

When you’re getting physically intimate with all sexualities, it helps you reflect more on your sexual needs and desires.


5. Remember Your Place

Things will definitely feel awkward for you. In fact, the couple you’ll be hooking up with might make you feel out of place with how they treat each other.

Yet this shouldn’t make you feel insecure or envious, as it’s not your place.

Of course, there will be sweet looks and lovey-dovey moments between them. They’re in a relationship.

Yet keep in mind your sole role in the hook up is to enjoy the experience with them. And that you’re a stranger there just to have sex.

There isn’t a need to compete for anyone’s attention or try to steal it either.

Yet keep in mind that there is the possibility it might turn into a long term relationship when hooking up with the same couple over and over again.


6. It Might Turn Into a Long-Term Thing

Pleasurable sex is all about finding the right chemistry. So there’s always a possibility that it can develop into a long-term affair.

But of course, this one entirely depends on how the experience turns out for both parties.

Either way, it’s isn’t uncommon for couples to develop an emotional attachment with the person they’re hooking up with and vice versa.

That’s because oxytocin is released during sexual stimulation which is basically a bonding hormone. So we’d especially advise you to keep your feelings in check.

The last thing you want is to become emotionally invested in a couple that doesn’t feel the same way.

With that said, don’t let the fear of developing feelings stop you from exploring this experience.


7. You May Develop Feelings

Worst than developing feelings for a couple who doesn’t reciprocate is to feel attracted only to one partner.

Messing up with someone already taking is toxic for you and them.

So even if you’re just hooking up with a couple, you still have to make sure to guard your feelings.


8. Feel Comfortable With Both of Them

In most cases, you’re going to have sex with or in front of both partners. They want both to have an equally good time.

If you’ll be focusing more on one person and, as a result, neglect the other one, this will spoil the entire vibe.

Don’t accept an invitation if you don’t feel comfortable with both of them. It won’t work out well.


9. You Have To Pay Attention to Everyone Equally

When you want to hook up with a couple, there’s a golden rule you must follow. And that is you have to pay attention to them equally.

In short, you have to always be mindful. There shouldn’t be any favoritism as it’ll quickly piss off the one you’ve been ignoring.

Aside from that, you absolutely can’t hook up with couples if you’re selfish in bed. The couple you’re with wants you to spice up their sex lives, not serve you.

With that said, you must treat them fairly if you want to have amazing sex.


10. Prepare by Doing Your Homework

It goes without saying that you should do your homework before jumping into unchartered territory.

Lack of preparation and understanding can make threesomes and foursomes disastrous and make the other couple feel uncomfortable.

Not only that, but it would also spoil the experience for you and your partner and make you feel reluctant to give it another shot.

That is why, before you jump into it, take your time to learn more about the dynamics of this arrangement.

If you have an experienced friend, then that’s wonderful. If not, no worries – we’ve several articles helping couples to hook up.


11. Feel Comfortable With Your Body

Since you want to hook up with a couple, it’s essential you feel comfortable with your body. This is because you will be exposing every bit of yourself in lots of unusual sexual positions.

If you hesitate to do certain positions simply because you feel shy about certain body parts, it’ll spoil the mud of everyone.


12. Be Open to Experimentation

You may be a fan of missionary and other traditional sex positions, but this position doesn’t work in a threesome for obvious reasons.

Besides, the whole idea behind this arrangement is to experiment and make sex more exciting.

So it’s highly unlikely that the other couple would be interested in the same old vanilla sex.

That’s why, just a heads up that you need to keep yourself open to unconventional sex positions. Consider this as an opportunity to grow your sexual knowledge.

Trying a new position may feel weird at first, but you’d quickly get used to it and might even enjoy it as well.


13. Building Trust is Essential

Trust builds the foundation of any sexual relationship.

From time to time we emphasize the importance of safe sex on this site, and it’s even more important during this arrangement. There are multiple sex partners involved so the risk is even higher.

That’s why make sure to discuss the necessary sexual health measures that must be taken before engaging with the couple.

The last thing you want is to get yourself in an unpleasant situation when it could’ve easily been avoided.


14. Hook Up with an Open Mind

Hooking up with couples is a bit different than regular hook-ups. If you’re especially going into it as a threesome then you need to have an open mind.

Don’t restrict your thinking by your general principles, values, upbringing, or religious beliefs.

Even if this is new to you, accept the fact that open relationships are becoming more common nowadays. Whether you’re going as a single, or with your partner, the same applies to both of you.

Just remember that couples who are into this don’t see additional sexual partners as a threat. They are open to experimentation and adding variety to make sex more adventurous.


15. Stay Open for Communication

Open communication can solve the majority of your problems. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time in knowing the couple and feeding your curiosity.

This would not only calm your nerves but also, let you know what to expect from this arrangement. Some couples also have “safe words” while having sex so you can discuss those as well.

And the same goes for asking them what is and isn’t allowed in the bed. After all, consent is of utmost importance in any relationship.

In fact, we even encourage communication to make regular hookups less awkward as well.


16. Speak Up During Sex

Sex with two people can already be messy and confusing as it is. What more when it’s between four or three people?

Not to mention the couple you want to hook up with are as good as strangers. Basically, you don’t know anything about them.

For this reason, you have to speak up whenever you feel uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to say if a position isn’t working for you or if you can’t do something.

Telling the truth will only improve the sexual experience. While enduring the pain might even lead to an injury.


17. It Might Change You

Lastly, having sex with multiple partners will inevitability change you.

Since you’re opening yourself to both male and female bodies, it can act as a way for you to learn more about your own sexual preferences.

Once you start hooking up with other couples, you might not like traditional sex as much as you did before.

And the opposite is also true, you might just realize that couple hookups aren’t for you.

The bottom line is that you’ll never find out unless you try it.




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.