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9 Unspoken Hook Up Rules That Everyone Should Know

The hookup culture is on the rise. And as eager as you may be to jump towards sex, it’s worth knowing a thing or two about it first.

Going unprepared can make the experience awkward and underwhelming for both you and your sex partner.

This is why if you’re new to hookups, then first familiarize yourself with the basics.

So here are the 9 unspoken hook up rules that everyone should know about.


1. Don’t Hook Up With The Same Person Multiple Times

Now don’t get us wrong. We’re not saying that you should miss out on a steamy session.

But hooking up with the same person multiple times may not necessarily be a good idea. Unless you set up a friend with benefits relationship with clear rules.

So you may now be wondering, how frequently you should hook up with them? Well, the answer to that is, it depends.

If all that you are doing in your free time is fucking the same person, then be on your guard. Also, try to keep the activity with your fuck buddy limited to the bedroom.

And the moment you feel the chemicals inside your head start acting up, consider taking a break.


2. Play Safe – No Matter What!

man and girl hooking up use condom

No matter how tempting raw sex appears to be, it isn’t worth it. Make sure the rubber is always being used.

The thing about hookups is that you do not know the sexual history of your partner. So unprotected sex at the expense of potentially catching STDs isn’t worth it.

And here’s a tip for all the girls out there reading this: No matter how much the guy brags about their pull out game, don’t risk it. All it takes is a single drop of sperm to leave you with a world of trouble.

Similarly, here’s one for all the men as well: don’t believe her to be on birth control. Some girls just want to get pregnant. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Besides, you’d hardly be able to tell a difference if you buy extra thin condoms.


3. Set Straightforward & Clear Expectations

People new to the hookup culture often make one common mistake. And that’s a lack of communication.

In fact, proper communication will only improve your sexual experience. But too much communication might cause problems. And later in this article, I’m going to explain what topics you should avoid.

Talk about what you’re expecting in the bed, and also try understanding what your sex partner likes.

Once you both know the sexual preferences of each other, you’d have an orgasm to remember!

And most importantly, this will make sex more pleasurable and less awkward.

This is probably the most important hook up tip & trick. if you want to maximize pleasure.


4. Avoid Casual Texting & Conversations

avoid texting when hooking up

Usually, youngsters make this mistake and this is something that we heavily advise against. Especially for people who get attached too fast.

The only time you should text your sex partner is to decide when to fuck. This means no small talks, texting, or casual conversations – only text to hook up.

The more you talk to a person and know about them, the more feelings you develop.

And before you know it, you may start liking them for more than just sex.

This would be a horrendous situation for both of you. Because there’s a great chance that your sex partner doesn’t want anything more.

So keep things simple – plan the time, set the location, have sex and move forward.


5. Don’t Introduce Your FWB To Your Friends Circle

Introducing your friend with benefit to your friends’ circle defeats the purpose of hooking up. Hookups are all about having sex with no strings attached.

And introducing your FWB to people close to you means you’re letting them into your life.

In fact, you never know that one of your friends may start fucking your FWB later on. But that’s not the only reason for concern.

The more your FWB knows about you, the more dirt they’ll have on you.

If you prefer keeping your sex life private then you’re giving a random stranger something to use against you.

So keep your fuck buddies as far as possible from your social circle. You’ll thank us for this.


6. No Personal Questions, Unless They’re About Sexual Preferences

As we mentioned above, communication is important between you and your sex partner. However, that doesn’t mean you should start asking them personal questions.

At most, you could ask them things like if they had any recent STD tests. Other than that, don’t try digging into their personal life, relationship status or anything.

Prying too much will make you lose your chances of getting any action the next time.

Keep things simple, only ask sexual questions, have the best sex of your life, and say goodbye.


7. Consider Skipping The Cuddling Phase

Skip cuddling, this applies both before and especially after sex.

In Ester Perels’ groundbreaking book, Mating in Captivity, she suggested that cuddling makes us feel too close and familiar to a person.

If both of you have achieved orgasm then the only reason you should be in bed is for another round.

Cuddling after sex will only make if not both then one of you develop feelings. This is why it is best to skip that phase and only focus on raw sex and foreplay.


8. Unless Bent, Maintain Eye Contact

hookup eye contact during sex

If you want to make your hookups more memorable, then be more passionate in bed.

Small things such as maintaining eye contact during intercourse can make a huge difference.

But of course, it also depends on the sex position. If you’re doing it from behind, even then it doesn’t have to be raw sex.

There are a number of things you can do to spice things up such as hair pulling, spanking, and whatnot. However, keep in mind to ask if your sex partner is comfortable with all of this.

In short, be more passionate during the session. This will make the experience tenfold better for you and your sex partner.


9. Don’t Let Your Emotions Take Over

The last unspoken hookup rule is to not let your emotions take over you. Whether you’re going through a rough break-up or any other tragedy, keep things limited to sex.

Probably your hook up partner is also there for some fun. The last thing they would want is to hear your rant.

We advise against showing emotions even after sex. Because the chances are that you wouldn’t see your partner the next time after that.

If you think that you’re too vulnerable, then avoid hooking up. Once you feel better, only then, get back down to business.


Having Hookup Rules Make The Difference

As exciting as hookups can be, there’s room for a lot to go wrong. Especially if you’re new to the hookup scene.

This is why before directly moving on to sex, it’s worth doing your homework.

Knowing how to act before, during and after hookups can make your experience more pleasurable and safe.

And if this is your first time, the best way to get started is to hook up online. The reason being you can connect immediately with like-minded people without having to wait for chances.

So these were the most important hook up rules that everyone should know. If you think we’ve missed any then let us know in the comments!




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.