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Sex Menu for Hookups

Hookup sex menu

When hooking up with someone new, neither of you knows the other person’s sexual preference just yet.

A simple solution to discover and let know the other person about your sexual preferences is to create a sex menu.

It’s also a great tool to boost your sex life in case your bedroom routine isn’t that exciting.

This is probably the first time you’re hearing about it – and we don’t blame you because it hasn’t found its way into mainstream dating yet.

But with more and more people showing a willingness to explore new things, it won’t be surprised if this concept becomes popular in the near future.

So what is a sex menu anyway, and how can you make one? Scroll down as we answer all these questions and more.


What is a Sex Menu?

A sex menu is like a personalized list of sexual activities that you want to engage in with your partner.

You can even call it a basic guide in which people write down what they want to do under the sheets.

It can help couples be more vocal about their sexual turn-ons so they can make sex hotter and more intense.

Some people also add things they do not like to the sex menu, but that’s all about personal preference.

There are no strict guidelines when it comes to creating a sex menu, and most people have their own variations.

But of course, if you don’t want to create one from the scratch then you can always follow a template.


Reasons to Create a Sex Menu When Hooking Up


1. Improves Sexual Communication

Good communication is the key to having an enjoyable sex life. But unfortunately, a large majority of new sexual partners lack that.

They aren’t too vocal about their turn-ons which leads to the same old vanilla sex every day. Making a sex menu can help you fill that gap.

A sex menu can even be compared to safe words because essentially, both of these concepts aren’t “necessary”.

Yet, they can improve your sex life by improving communication between you and your partner.


2. Helps You Explore Kinks

Creating a sex menu can be a great way to introduce your hidden kinks in front of your partner.

This is also one of the reasons that the sex menu is especially growing in popularity in the BDSM community.

But of course, whether you’re into kinky stuff or not, we recommend incorporating a sex menu nonetheless.


3. It’s a Playful Experience

If you don’t try new things then at some point, your sex life is bound to feel like a chore.

So incorporating a sex menu is like a playful experience that you can have with your partner.

It keeps things fresh and also gives you direction for what you should exactly do in the bed to satisfy your partner.


4. Form of Consent

A sex menu can act as a form of consent especially while you’re engaging in BDSM activities.

It helps you set clear boundaries by letting your partner know what’s allowed and what’s off-limits.

Some people also prefer adding a score beside different sexual activities to signify their level of interest in it.


5. Minimizes the Risk

Making a sex menu isn’t only great for couples but also while having casual hookups.

You can add a separate section to the sex menu that talks about medical conditions like STD infections.

Basically, a sex menu can not only include your sexual preferences, but also anything else that you would like your hookup partner to know.


How to Make a Sex Menu

You can create a sex menu on any tool you want. It could be on an online sheet, a text editor or even you can make one by getting a pen and a paper.

Though we wouldn’t recommend the last one because making changes to it can be difficult. But you get the point.

The real question is, what are the elements that your sex menu should be based around?

Well, here are 3 important things:


1. Set a Scoring System

There are multiple variations of a sex menu, and although adding a scoring system isn’t necessary, it could be a great addition.

You can format the scoring system to be in numbers scaling from 1 to 5.

Or you could create stars in front of different sexual activities to indicate your interest in them. Heck, you can even use colors like green, yellow and red.

All in all, there are no hard and fast rules or must-follow conventions while creating a scoring system.


2. Be Honest and Have Fun

The whole idea behind creating a sex menu is to highlight your sexual preferences and to have fun.

Keep in mind that you aren’t sitting in a school exam. You can add anything in the sex menu that you are even slightly interested in.

The main rule is that you or your partner must not judge each regardless of whatever is written on the sex menu.


3. Think About Yourself

It’s always nice to consider the sexual satisfaction of your partner. But keep in mind that your sex menu is all about YOU.

Don’t include activities in the sex menu just for the sake of your partner. Your partner will also have a chance to list their preferences.

So even if it’s tempting, fill the sex menu based on your own sexual desires. Otherwise, there’s no point in making one.


What Should a Sex Menu Include?

Looking for some inspiration on what you should include in a sex menu? Here are a few categories that you could divide it into:



This section can have activities that help you set up the mood for sex.

It could be anything like a sensual massage, relaxing music, or a slow make-out session.

Basically, this section is for all the erotic activities that will eventually lead to sex.



The entrée is like your main course. You can write about a few of your favorite sex positions in it and whether you prefer it soft or rough.

Kinksters can add different BDSM activities here like one of you ties up the other and takes charge of providing pleasure.


Side Dishes

This category is not really necessary, but side dishes can include sex toys and lube.

Maybe you can also throw in a camera to record the action? But a disclaimer to do so at your own risk!



The dessert is the things that you want your partner to do after sex like showering together or cuddling.

You can also be more generous by showing a bit of extra attention.

For example, men can use their tongue to make her cum at least twice. While women can make him feel special by getting a facial from him.


How to Use the Sex Menu?

The whole idea behind creating a sex menu is to make sex life more enjoyable.

So now that you’re done making one – what’s next? Well, it’s now time to share it with your partner.

And Laureen explains brilliantly how to do that in this video…

Then is only a matter to choose one or two activities from each category and start working on that order!




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.