Most cis people don’t know how to hook up with a trans. They often unknowingly do and say things that create awkward situations.
Essentially, hooking up with transgenders isn’t any different than hitting it with a cis person.
Yet, if you don’t know how to get things going, then let’s help you set the stage.
So here are 9 positive tips on how to hook up with a transgender:
1. Keep It Natural
Hooking up with a trans is pretty much the same as hooking up with a cis person. So do yourself a favor, and don’t overthink the situation.
Your intentions may be good, but keep in mind that transsexuals don’t want any “special” treatment from you.
What they actually prefer is for people to act naturally around them.
Doing that alone would resolve the majority of your problems and also help you avoid awkward situations.
2. Don’t Ask Intrusive Personal Questions
How would you feel if a random person approaches you and asks you about your life’s history?
Awkward, right? Well, that’s exactly how transgender feel when people ask them about their life before the transformation.
No matter how curious you are, don’t pry into their personal lives. Besides, if your sole intention is to hook up, then why do you even care?
Asking personal questions that aren’t related to sex is like violating the first rule of a hook up.
3. Treat Them With Respect
Every human deserves respect, irrespective of their gender identity. But unfortunately, many people only see transsexuals as sex objects.
This is not only derogatory but also, ruins any chances that you have.
At best, even if you score sex, you’d have to pay for it – and even then, it would mostly be awkward.
So for starters, treat transsexuals like humans and give them respect. That would make them feel comfortable enough to consider hooking up with you.
4. Don’t Hypersexualize Them
Another common misbelief is that trans are hypersexual. This is also one of the reasons people often see them as sex objects.
But once again, that isn’t the case.
And in general, even if someone loves to engage in sexual activities that doesn’t mean you make unwanted sexual advances towards them.
So if you want to hook up with trans, then approach them just like you would approach any other person.
Don’t expect that they’d be waiting in line to have sex with you the moment you get near them.
5. Don’t Ask If They’ve Had a Surgery
Even if you’re planning on getting naked with them, asking questions “did you have surgery?” is off-limits.
It’s like asking a person they have two testicles. And you’re going to get the answer once you get naked with them anyway.
And if you can’t wait that long then you might as well forget about hooking up with a trans.
Asking such questions would only make the conversation awkward but also make you appear as a fetishist.
6. Don’t Stare at Their Body
Finally, you’ve come this far and a transsexual has agreed to hook up with you. Well, don’t blow it at the last moment.
Once they undress, don’t look at them like they’re from outer space or a science experiment.
After all, there’s a difference between staring at someone out of admiration and fetishism. You don’t want to appear as the latter.
They’re not an exotic object but rather, a human with feelings.
So the more you make them feel comfortable in their skin, the better the sex would be.
7. Express Interest in Their Whole Self
Once again, if you don’t want to look like a fetishist, show interest in their whole self rather than their genitals.
Instead of being eager to jump towards sex, communicate openly. Ask if they have any boundaries that you should be aware of.
Similarly, learn more about what they like and dislike. And don’t forget that communication is the key to making your hookup more memorable and less awkward.
Check out more hook up tips to make your experience memorable.
8. Ask Them What’s Off Limits
Whether physical or verbal, everyone has their own preferences in bed.
For instance, some cis women might find the word “tits” derogatory while others may love it.
Similarly, some people don’t like being touched at certain parts of their bodies – and this applies even more so for trans.
So before you engage in any sort of sexual activity with them, understand their preferences.
You can simply ask what they like and dislike. And are there any words that you should not use?
And while you’re on the topic, you can also share your preferences.
This would not only help you avoid awkward situations, but also make you look considerate and show that you care.
9. Prove That You’re Different
Trans meet people daily who treat them like sex objects and don’t consider their feelings.
So you need to prove that you’re different. How can you do that?
Well, as we discussed above – treat them with respect, understand their sexual preferences, and don’t ask invasive questions.
This isn’t too much to ask either, it’s all part of basic courtesy that one should show to every human.
But acting on all of this does work like a charm and makes your hookup experience tenfold better.
How to Hook up With a Trans – The Dos and Don’ts
Most awkward situations can be avoided. So here are some do’s and don’ts when hooking up with a transgender worth keeping in mind.
What You Can Do
• Do treat them with respect and act naturally. Trans people want to feel like everyone else.
• Do ask what they prefer calling their body parts. Don’t make assumptions when hooking up with a transgender. If you don’t know their gender identity, you can’t know how to address their body parts.
After all, women and men use different words to address the same body part. For example, a woman usually says “penis” while a man says “cock”.
• Do notice how they touch their body. Usually, we touch women softly while men rougher.
If you don’t know the gender identity of the trans person you’re hooking up with, just pay attention to how they touch themself. Do they prefer to stroke their dick or rather flick like a clitoris?
• Do make them feel like you’re genuinely interested in them. Many people want to hook up with a trans simply because they watch some porn and they got hooked.
That means to fetishize. In other words, treat the trans person as an exotic object of fascination rather than a human being with needs and feelings.
• Do learn more about their sexual preferences. It’s important to learn about the preferences of a sexual partner, especially if you’re hooking up for the first time.
That helps to avoid awkward situations and turn-offs.
What You Shouldn’t Do
• Don’t freak out! Ok, they told you she/he is a trans. It’s a good thing she/he is been upfront. Just thanks them to let you know and stay cool.
• Don’t ask if they had surgery. That’s a personal question, none of your business.
• Don’t look at their body like they’re aliens. It’s horrible to feel like someone is staring at you like an alien. When you get naked with a trans person, enjoy their beautiful body the same way you would with anyone you’re attracted to – it’s as simple as that.
• Don’t make yourself look like a fetishist. Trans people are often fetishized for their appearance, gender, and even their genitals. This can be very degrading, especially during sex.
• Don’t get too drunk. It’s better to have casual sex when both of you aren’t drunk. Check out this video to get an idea of what might go wrong…
Trans Hookups FAQs
How do you talk to trans about the kind of sex you want?
No matter how wild your sexual fantasies are, be upfront about them. You never know, they may also share your kinks.
Do I invite trans to my place for a hook up or go to theirs?
It depends on what you and they are comfortable with. If you’re meeting a trans through a hook up app or site, then we suggest going for a hotel.
What to talk about before hooking up with transgender?
Ask if they have any particular likes and dislikes in the bed. Are there any spots where they don’t like being touched?
How can I avoid making sex awkward with trans?
The more you communicate, the better the sex would be. We’ve also shared plenty of tips above for you to avoid making your sexual experience with trans awkward.
What should I keep in mind before hooking up with a trans?
Transgender people can be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or straight. If you don’t know what pronouns to use, listen first.