How to Ask A Guy To Be Friends With Benefits – 9 Tips
If you’re sexually interested in a guy but not ready to commit, then initiating a friend with benefits relationship is the way to go.
You can enjoy the convenience of sex without having to worry about emotional baggage. Also, it’s a practical way to avoid heartbreaks.
However, it’s common to feel confused about how to take a casual relationship with him in that direction.
This is why in this article, not only we’ll walk you through tips on how to ask a guy to be friends with benefits. But also how to initiate a FWB relationship on the right step.
Let’s dive straight into it!
1. Stay True To Yourself
Before you enter into a FWB relationship, ask yourself – why do you really want this?
Is it that are you physically attracted to him? Or perhaps, the reason is that you two have great chemistry?
Staying true to yourself now will help you avoid complications in the future.
If you have even the slightest hunch that you’re romantically attracted to him then re-evaluate your decision.
Getting in a friend with benefits relationship with someone who you have feelings for never goes well.
In the case you want a serious relationship with him, then avoid having sex with him on the first date.
That’s because men often lose interest to be in a relationship with women with who they’ve had sex easily.
Either way, knowing the reason why you want him to be in a FWB relationship will make it easier for you to ask him.
2. Find Out If He’s Physically Attracted To You
If he’s already physically attracted to you, then that would make things much easier.
But even if he isn’t, that isn’t a problem. Most guys would be down to have some easy sex.
Though keep in mind that attraction doesn’t only come in physical form. So before you ask him to be your FWB, first make sure that you two are on the same page.
The problem starts if he’s emotionally and romantically attracted to you. As that will defeat the purpose of a FWB relationship by making it chaotic.
3. Determine How You Want To Say It
You can ask a guy to be your FWB either face-to-face or through a text. Both options have their pros and cons so let’s first start with texting.
The biggest advantage of asking him through a text is that you have more control over the situation.
If you’re already a shy or a nervous person, then you’ll have the time to think before replying to him.
However, there’s a slight chance that he may ghost you without giving a concrete answer.
On the other hand, it’s easy to seduce guys during face-to-face interactions.
You can wear your sexiest dress and perhaps show some cleavage. There’s a 95% chance that he wouldn’t hesitate to take the opportunity.
So the method you choose entirely depends on your preference. But if you have the confidence, then we’d recommend asking him face-to-face.
4. Tell Him Why You Want It
If you’re direct, then things are less likely to go wrong and there will also be lesser drama.
Girls often give vague signals instead of being direct. So he would likely feel flattered and appreciate your initiative.
That’s why, whatever your reason is to be in a FWB relationship with him, let him know.
If he’s keeping any false hopes from you, then being direct would eliminate them as well.
5. Set Ground Rules and Boundaries
Setting rules for being friends with benefits is the most important part of this relationship.
You need to discuss this from the get-go, but unfortunately, most people don’t.
And as the saying goes “sex makes things complicated”, so it’s better to discuss the do’s and don’t’s of this relationship before getting into it.
Some of the things you need to talk about may include how frequently you two should bang.
Should this relationship be kept secret, and how will you two plan on practicing safe sex.
But in a nutshell, if you’re confused about anything, then it’s better to ask.
6. Communicate your Sexual Needs
The whole point of a FWB relationship is to have hot sex, so what’s there to be shy about?
When you’re asking him to be your friend with benefits, put your sexual needs upfront. Similarly, also make an effort to know what he loves in the bed.
Keep in mind that communication is the key. The more straightforward you are, the lesser the chances of ending up in awkward situations.
Besides, guys are often bad at taking signs so he’d love it if you take the lead.
7. Don’t Give Any False Hopes
Romantic dinner dates and fancy getaways aren’t a part of a friend with benefits relationship.
It should be quite obvious already, but in case he doesn’t know that, make it clear to him.
Tell him that things would remain the way they are. And practically, the only addition in your relationship with him would be sex.
So if he’s expecting more frequent hangouts or anything else for that matter, then he’s not getting it.
8. Talk About Your Friendship
We know, we said you shouldn’t give him any false hopes. However, don’t act weird either.
The addition of sexual intimacy shouldn’t get in the way of your friendship with him. Because let’s not forget, there’s a difference between regular hookups and a FWB relationship.
In a FWB relationship, you are already friends with this person, and sex comes as a bonus.
However, it’s easy to confuse the either of you don’t know how different casual relationships work. So if you’re concerned about your friendship, then make it clear to him that nothing’s changing.
Continue doing the things you already do and also enjoy passionate sex along the way.
9. Don’t Make It Dramatic
If the foundations of your friends with benefits relationship start with drama, then it wouldn’t last long.
The more you overcomplicate it, the more difficult the situation would become.
Flirting is fine, in fact, it would help you build sexual tension. But your relationship shouldn’t have unnecessary drama.
So when you’re asking him to be your FWB, make sure that you keep the expectations clear.
What Questions to Ask Your Future Friend With Benefits
1. What’s your sexual history, and when was the last time you got STD screening?
Why it is important: The last thing you want from your friend with benefits is STDs. So before you proceed with this relationship, ask him what measures he plans on taking for safe sex.
When was the last time he got a STD check-up? And how many sexual partners does he have at the moment.
2. Are you sure that you can get into this relationship without catching feelings?
Why it is important: People often mistake act of sex for emotional closeness. This is why it is common to catch feelings in a FWB relationship.
3. Can we have other sexual partners while we’re fucking each other?
Why it is important: You shouldn’t have any issues if he’s having sex with multiple women.
However, this is something you two need to be on the same page on for sexual health concerns.
4. Do you have any particular sexual expectations that I should be aware of?
Why it is important: A friend with benefits relationship is fulfilling the sexual desires of one another.
So it’s only natural to know more about what he likes in the bed. After all, it’s all about sexual satisfaction.
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