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How To Hook Up Safely – 12 Safe Tips To Follow

hook up safely

Safety comes first – this quote couldn’t be truer in today’s world.

And when speaking about safety, we aren’t only concerned about using protection, but also, your physical wellbeing.

We aren’t denying, the availability of hookup sites and apps has indeed made it easier to find casual sex than ever. But it has also brought new concerns.

It doesn’t come as a surprise that online hookups have stirred the fear in women of being physically and sexually assaulted. Yet, also men risk being drugged and taking advantage of.

Then there’s also the risk of STDs that you have to be on guard for.

That is why you need to take proper measures to avoid anything unfortunate from happening. So what can you do to minimize the risk?

Here are 12 tips to hook up safely:


1) Discuss Expectations in Advance

Clear communication is an important part of hookups.

Discussing your expectations in advance can make the experience less awkward and more memorable for both of you.

So when you’re writing hook up text messages, let him/her know what’s allowed and what isn’t.

Only hook up with the other person there is an effort to understand your sexual preferences.


2) Don’t Give Out Contact Information Until You’re Ready

In today’s world, all you need is a person’s name and number to know everything about them.

If you have a unique name that can be searched online, instantly someone can know about your personal life.

So don’t give out your contact information until you are confident that you aren’t dealing with a stalker. Harassment is a real thing, and not only forward women.

When using hook up apps and sites, avoid adding your address, phone number and personal email. We’ve discussed it on our anonymous hookup apps review at the end.


3) Go For A Video Call

He can copy pictures from a random social media profile online to catfish you. Hardly you’ll notice by merely looking at the profile.

This is why having a video call can solve the problem. It would help you verify that it’s really the same person that you see in the pictures.

Besides, a video call would also help you learn more about the other person before you hook up.

If there is hesitation to hop on a video call, then there’s definitely something fishy.


4) Meet in a Public Place First

Video calls are great but not bulletproof. You can’t know how the other person interacts with its surrounding. It doesn’t have to be anything fancy like Starbucks. A regular coffee shop that’s near for both of you would also do the trick.

By meeting up in a public place, you can see how she/he treat other people and behavior in social settings.

For example, does he/she treat the waiter kindly or is abusive?

Real-life situations reveal a lot more pieces of information about your hookup than a video call or chat can do.

So instead of directly seeing him indoors, it’s better to first meet him at a public place.


5) Don’t Get Picked Up At Home

Has he passed the basic screening and are you now planning to meet up? If so, then avoid getting picked up at home.

You don’t want a stranger to know where you live. Set a meeting place that’s away from your house. And drive there by yourself.

In case you don’t have a car or don’t know how to drive, you can use Uber or another cab service.

And if you think it’ll be late by the time you come back, then book a ride in advance. Or you could ask a friend to pick you up at a certain time as well.

Especially for women, we suggest that you only enter his/her car when you’re 100% certain that he doesn’t carry malicious intent.


6) Set Up Emergency Contacts and Apps

It doesn’t hurt to take some extra safety measures. So we recommend adding a couple of friends you trust to the list of your emergency contacts.

Similarly, there are plenty of safety apps nowadays that allow you to share your location with a single tap. It’s also worth looking into those.

Or better yet, you probably have WhatsApp on your phone. It allows you to share your live location with your contacts, so that can come in handy if you’re really feeling threatened.


7) Tell a Friend

You can’t obviously tell your family that you’re going to hook up with a stranger. However, you can at least, tell a friend.

No matter how much you prefer to keep your sex life discreet, at least one person should know where you’re going.

Once the location is finalized, let know your friend about your whereabouts. Also, share some information about the person you’re hooking up with.


8) Take Control of the Environment

If you get invited to his/her place, don’t accept the offer unless you’ve already hooked up a few times and feel safe.

Take control of the environment, at least for the first 2-3 hookups. If you’re booking an Airbnb, then do it yourself. The same goes for hotels.

According to an IPX1031 survey, 58% of 2,000 respondents were worried about hidden cameras in their Airbnb rooms. While 11% have actually discovered them.

So in a nutshell, you can’t trust a stranger with your privacy and there’s no room for taking any chances.


9) Stay Sober

A couple of drinks can of course be a great way to calm your nerves before a hookup. However, don’t drink more than you can handle.

Keep this as a hookup rule in general. You don’t want to be drunk out of your mind while you’re around a stranger.

Even if you two are comfortable around each other, don’t get so drunk that it becomes hard to control yourselves.


10) Don’t Forget The Condoms

Now that you’ve taken measures for your physical safety, don’t forget about your sexual safety.

We can’t emphasize enough how important is to carry condoms with you. Don’t expect the other person to have thought about it.


11) Carry Personal Protection Equipment

Men are physically stronger than women. So regardless of your cautions, if things do go south, you need something to protect yourself.

It’s worth spending some money on personal protection equipment. You can buy a pepper spray and a Taser for a few dollars online.

Keep it in your purse (or pockets if you have any) at all times. And place your purse at a spot where it’s easily accessible to you.


12) Trust Your Gut Feeling

It seems your hookup is a nice person but you have a feeling that something is off, then it probably is.

Never ignore your gut feeling. Otherwise, you would potentially put yourself at risk. Aside from that, you’d stay nervous and that would make the sex awkward as well.

If you feel something isn’t right, just leave. You can always meet up again to see if it was a faulty signal.

It’s better safe than sorry.


What To Do In Case Your Safety Is At Risk?

No matter how many safety measures you take, there’s always a small risk when hooking up with strangers. In case you get even the slightest hunch that your safety is at risk, don’t panic.

First, don’t let the other person know that you’re feeling uneasy. Then try to leave by giving a reasonable excuse.

In case the other person doesn’t let you go, excuse yourself to go to the bathroom. Use your phone and send your location to your emergency contacts.

Don’t try to confront the other person until someone gets there to help you.

To conclude, keep in mind that hook up safely is all about preparation and avoid doing stupid things.




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.