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Why Do Guys Change After You Sleep With Them? 7 Possible Reasons

Have you ever been with someone who suddenly did a 180 after you finally had sex? Well, sad to say, but you’re not the only one who’s facing this issue.

You and countless other girls are likely going crazy trying to understand where things went wrong.

Sometimes a guy might act weird after you sleep with him, other times he might even disappear.

guy acting weird after sleeping with her

Many girls simply think the guy didn’t like them or he lost interest after having sex. But that isn’t always the case.

So let’s have a look at the 7 most common reasons why do guys change after you sleep with them.


1. He Didn’t Change. It Was You Who Did

During sex, our body releases chemicals. The thing is those chemicals aren’t the same for females and males.

The male brain release less oxytocin and more dopamine. While the female brain releases large quantities of oxytocin only.

Basically, this means that women get emotional and feel attachment during sex. Meanwhile, men simply feel good and happy.

That’s why if you’re thinking why men change after you sleep with them, in reality, you did it.

Since now you think that your relationship’s closer than ever, even if for him it’s just business as usual.


2. He Faked His Attitude to Get In Your Pants

Nobody wants a fuckboy to trick them. Yet, if you’ve been wondering why do guys disappear after you sleep with them, then you might have been a victim.

While it’s awful, a lot of guys do this to get laid.

According to this article by Psychology Today, a common reason people show false kindness is when they want to control a person to do something for them.

In this situation, he pretended to be a kind guy to get in your pants. And after he gets what he wants from you, he won’t have to keep up appearances anymore.

As such, he’ll drop the act and reveal his real self.

But don’t worry, there are several ways to tell if a guy wants a relationship or just a hookup. By learning the common signs, you can save yourself some disappointment.


3. He Lost Interest

At the start, he may have been crazy about you and adored you like a goddess. But once the two of you fucked, and his lust went away, so did his feelings for you.

At this point, since the thrill is gone, he may have come to realize that he wasn’t as into you as he thought.

It sucks, yet it’s what happens to loads of men when they finally catch the girl they’ve been chasing.

No one’s to blame in this scenario, though, as the excitement of pursuing you has merely run its course.


4. He’s Setting Boundaries

Since boys mature much slower than girls, it’s normal that most of them like to play around and don’t want to get tied down. Furthermore, many continue to have this mindset in their 30s, or 40s.

Hence, if you were clingy or looked like you were falling in love, then it’s clear why do guys get weird after you sleep with them.

This happens because they want to set boundaries since they don’t want to lead you on.


5. He’s Feeling Pressured

The casual vibe you had before could have become deeper due to sex. In effect, it’ll push you two to seriously think about your standing with each other

Will you be officially together soon? Or are you heading to friends with benefits?

At this time, he probably doesn’t have a clue about what to do with you. Therefore he’ll dodge the topic and badly react whenever you ask about it.

This Mental Health Foundation article validates this as it lists that withdrawing or snapping at someone is classic behavior of a stressed person.


6. You’re Making Assumptions

Everybody knows that although women try to play it cool, the truth is that they’re overthinkers.

And many of them tend to make a big deal out of something small as a result.

With this in mind, girls are particularly sensitive about the people they’ve been intimate with.

Not only that, but this intense awareness will make them give meaning to a guy’s every move. Even if there’s nothing more to it.

In short, you’re assuming things, and this is the main reason why you think that guys change after you sleep with them.

They might have been acting the same way all along, and it was just you who saw them differently after hooking up.


7. He Doesn’t Feel The Sexual Chemistry

We know that a man can sleep with a woman without developing feelings and even have great sex when he doesn’t like the girl. This is one of the reasons why do guys hook up with the same girl over and over again.

Yet when you and your partner don’t suit each other in bed, the sex can be quite bland or feel boring at worse. Perhaps your tastes weren’t a match, or you couldn’t get in sync.

Regardless of the reason, the lack of sexual chemistry is a big factor in why guys choose to disappear after you sleep with them.

Of course, sex, on the whole, will always be enjoyable for men. However, if he’s not into you and the compatibility isn’t there, why else would he want to stick around?


What Should You Do When A Guy Changes After You Sleep With Him?

after girl and guy sleep together

All things considered, you shouldn’t panic too much when you think a guy gets weird after you sleep with him.

The thing is, there’s a possibility that whatever you’re fretting about is all in your head. And that you’re not looking at things as they really are.

In this case, you have to calm down and properly talk to sort it out.

On the other hand, if he doesn’t want to stay, you shouldn’t take it to heart as there’s nothing you can do if he’s no longer interested.

Besides, you shouldn’t forget that you matter the most and that your time is better spent moving on to people who appreciate you.




  • Ashley Miller

    Ashley Miller is a Dating Coach and author for She teaches women how to deal with self-esteem and insecurities issues and how to flirt, have casual hookups, or get into a serious relationship. She has many years of personal coaching experience and is particularly passionate about helping people to find dating success regardless of race or gender. You will find her cooking delicious pies, enjoying a book, or playing skying in her free time.