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How To Tell Him You Want More Than A Casual Relationship

couple having a serious relationship after one casual

You met a guy at an event, workplace or even online and things quickly went into a casual direction.

After hooking up with him for a while, you now feel that the chemistry is good and you want more.

But how to take things to the next level now? And how to tell him that you want something more from the relationship?

We know how hard can be to turn a casual relationship into something more serious. After all, you might be afraid to turn your partner off.

Don’t worry as we’ve got your back. In this article, first, let’s go through a couple of tips to take your casual relationship in a serious direction.

After that, we’ll look at how to tell him you want more than a casual relationship.

Let’s get started!


How Do You Turn a Casual Relationship Into More?


1. Know yourself and understand what you’re looking for

Before you move towards a more serious direction, it is important to first understand yourself.

Ask yourself do you really want to transition from this baggage free relationship to a long-term commitment. Or do you simply have a crush on him that you could overcome by taking a break.

Remember that women release more oxytocin (attachment hormone) after sex which makes them feel emotionally attached faster.

And if you’re having sex with the same guy multiple times a month, then that may be the reason you’ve developed feelings for him.

If that isn’t the case, then the second thing to consider is: what do you like about this guy? Is it because you two have great chemistry together, or it’s just his personality?

Knowing the answer to these things can make it much easier for you to win him over because you’ll know what you’re working for.


2. Naturally, find out if he wants something more

It’s easy to let your feelings overwhelm you, but the key to transitioning from casual to serious relationships is to stay natural.

Instead of bombarding him with questions about his feelings, naturally, observe if he wants something more.

It’s easy to see the signs he only wants a casual relationship. Small things such as does he text you aside from planning hook ups? Does he make an effort to see you outside the bedroom?

If a guy is developing feelings, those are the biggest giveaways.

All this can make it easier for you to determine how much you’ll have to work for transitioning to a serious relationship.


3. Keep yourself mysterious and hard to get

The more accessible you are to him, the less likely he’s going to fall in love with you.

This is also one of the reasons studies advise against having sex on the first date. It is easier for men to detach themselves and separate sex from love.

If he can bed you every time he’s horny, he’d only think about you when he wants to have sex.

But playing the age-old “hard to get” tactic can do wonders. For one, it will make him think about where you’re occupied.

And he might even try harder to win your attention. Just remember that moderation is key.

You want to play hard to get and look mysterious, but not so much that he loses interest.

Simply avoid doing things on his terms and whenever it’s convenient for him. You’ll see fast results this way.


4. Avoid the “are we dating?” kind of conversations

No matter what happens, you don’t want to have conversations like “are we dating?” In most cases, this will backfire.

Transitioning from casual to serious relationships is all about keeping things natural.

He might be developing feelings for you without realizing it. Asking such questions may disrupt the process.

And at times, it can also make you come off as desperate. So if you two have started meeting outside of hookups, then that’s certainly progress.

But it’s still too soon to have this kind of conversation. Give him the time and let your relationship build more.

When you two do start dating, it will become obvious enough and he’ll probably say it himself.


5. Try not giving the “I don’t care” vibes

Putting a front that you don’t care or how you are “Miss Independent” is counterproductive. Showing general emotions that you’re looking for companionship in life is completely fine.

In fact, if he’s interested in you, then that may also act as a sign for him to take the initiative.

But if you constantly maintain a rock-solid front, then he’d hesitate to make the move due to the fear of rejection.

Besides, as we mentioned earlier that it’s easier for men to keep sex separated from love.

If you’re constantly demonstrating that you only need men for sex, then that’s presumably all you would get.


6. Don’t pretend that you’re also easy-going just because he is

If he’s saying that he wants to be showered with sex and simply, wants to enjoy life, you don’t have to oblige.

Acting along with him and saying that you enjoy hooking up as much as he does won’t help your cause.

We’re not saying you shouldn’t hook up, but keep it in the open that you’re not as easygoing about sex as he is.

Because then, there’s no way for either of you two to move forward.

Even if he does start to develop feelings for you, he’ll think you only want sex.


7. Show you care and make him feel emotionally attached

It’s isn’t difficult to make a man crave you emotionally. Make him feel desirable and displaying small gestures of care can go a long way.

Build emotional attachment is the first step of converting a casual relationship into a serious one.

This transition is hard for many women because they don’t know how to create a deep connection with their partners. It’s like trying to make a cake without the recipe.

Listen to his desires, offer support and accept who is he until he’ll naturally start opening up to you. That’s when you know you’re going in the right direction.


How to Tell a Casual Partner That You Want More From Your Relationship

girl telling him she wants more from relationship

There are a couple of ways to tell your casual partner that you want more. Here are some examples that you can alter according to the dynamics of your relationship:


“I feel like I’m ready to go in a committed relationship”

How to say it:

Say it preferably when you two are having an intimate moment. It can start with “Hey, do you remember I once said that right now, I’m not looking for anything serious?”

“Well now, I feel like I’m ready to go in a committed relationship”

You can, of course, alter the first line according to what you may have told him about your relationship preferences in the past.

Why it works?

Saying it in an intimate moment drops a major hint that you’re into him. And it also doesn’t sound too direct, hence, making it easier to say.


“Things feel much more different with you”

How to say it?

You can say this while you two are having a casual conversation in real life. This way, you can see his reaction and he won’t be able to ghost you.

However, make sure to say it in a light and friendly tone, and word it in a way like “No matter what we are doing, things feel much more different with you.”

Why it works?

You’re making him feel special by saying that things exclusively feel different with him.

And it also makes it prominent that you wouldn’t mind pursuing something more.


“Do you want to go out for dinner?”

How to say it:

You can randomly text him this and word it like “Hey, do you have any immediate plans tonight? If not, do you want to go out for dinner?”

Why it works?

Asking for dinner will allow the two of you to learn more about each other.

Besides, casual relationships are more about sex. So unless he’s living under a rock, he’ll understand that you want something more than sex.

These were just a couple of many ways to tell him that you want more than a casual relationship, without making it too obvious.

You can modify these texts according to your liking and style, but in general, they can get your point across.




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.