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Does Friend With Benefits Relationships Work? 9 Things to Remember

Friend with benefits is becoming the new norm nowadays.

It allows you to enjoy sex, without having to deal with the emotional baggage that comes with a serious relationship.

But from time to time people often wonder if friends with benefits relationships even work. Well, this analysis published by Personal Relationships shows that only 17% of the people get their desired outcome from a FWB relationship.

And among them, 59% are those who want their FWB arrangement to transition into a regular friendship.

Considering the data show that friends with benefits

But you can steer your FWB relationship in the right direction by having a clear setup from the start. And that’s what we’ll exactly be discussing in this article.


How To Make Friends with Benefits Relationship Work

how does friends with benefits work

Keep in mind the following if you want to make friends with benefits relationship work:


1) Set Ground Rules for your Relationship

The key to making a FWB relationship work for the long term is to have a set of ground rules in place.

Some of those rules include not going on fancy dates and trips as well as not having sleepovers and extended cuddling sessions.

And we’d even suggest that you don’t have sex with your friend with benefits more than twice a week.

Otherwise, that would make it every other day and you would start depending on him/her for sexual gratification.

Remember that having a FWB is great. But he/she is not obligated to stay with you and can end things at any time. So keep your options open.

In case you want to learn more, we’ve covered the rules in more depth in our Rules For Being Friends with Benefits article.


2) Respect the Boundaries of the Relationship

Remember that being in a FWB relationship doesn’t mean that he/she owes you sex 24/7. It’s important to respect the boundaries and the schedule of your partner.

If your friend with benefit is getting late off work and mentions that they feel too tired, it’s best to let him/her get some rest.

Otherwise, he/she would start seeing sex as a chore rather than something that they’re truly interested in.


3) Make your FWB Feel Comfortable

Most FWB relationships are formed on the basis of mutual trust and comfort. This is even truer in the case of girls.

The reason she’s allowing physical intimacy is that she feels comfortable around you. So don’t make the mistake of sending clingy text messages, or stalking her in general.

And unsolicited dick pics are certainly out of the question.

Doing so would most likely make her feel uncomfortable and she’d start distancing herself from you.


4) Retain the Trust of your FWB

This may not apply to some men, but the majority of women want to keep their sex lives discreet.

So it’s worth going over with your friend with benefits they want others to know about this relationship?

This will show that you’re at least making an effort in protecting their privacy.


5) Respect Privacy

Speaking of privacy, you should only engage in sexual acts with your FWB behind closed doors, or when no one is around.

You can’t hold hands nor kiss in public. Such gestures imply affection, which we do not encourage in a friend with benefits relationship.

Besides, he/she may also feel uncomfortable if you get too touchy in public. Especially, if they want to keep their physical relationship with you a secret.


6) Maintain Personal Hygiene and Grooming

The last thing you would want is to get physically intimate with a person who doesn’t take care of basic personal hygiene.

This often happens in the case of men. They’d bust out a 90-minute long workout session and wouldn’t have the courtesy to even shower after that.

The least you can do is to carry body spray or perfume with you.


7) Maintain Sexual Tension

We said you shouldn’t be touchy in public. But that doesn’t include when no one’s watching.

Move close to your FWB and tease him/her when nobody is around. You can even enjoy some good outdoor sex.

If you’re worried to be seen by someone then we’ve covered the best places to make out without getting caught.


8) Prove Yourself in the Bed

A FWB relationship is about to give and take and men often seem to forget that.

You don’t have to last hours in bed because foreplay and oral sex alone are enough to stimulate a woman.

Besides, if she’s going the extra mile by swallowing your load like a Goddess, then she only deserves the same level of enthusiasm.

So regardless of the size of your gun or how long you last, you can make her speak in tongues through your fingers alone.

And once you prove yourself in the bed, she’d keep coming back to you for more.


9) Don’t Get Emotionally Invested

Emotional investment is one of the biggest reasons why friends with benefits relationships come to an end. While it’s true that you can’t control how you feel, you can control how you act to it.

If you think you’re getting too emotionally involved with your FWB, then take some time away from him/her.

And instead of creating unnecessary drama, you can let your friend know about it.

If your FWB is emotionally mature, then he/she will understand. After that, you two can decide together on how to proceed with things.


When Friends With Benefits Never Work

Why do friends with benefits never work

Here are 3 things that will make a FWB relationship inevitably fail:


1) One of you Develops Feelings

Note that contrary to what most people think, there’s a distinctive difference between emotional attachment and feelings.

Emotional attachment can be overcome by maintaining your distance for some time, as we discussed above.

However, if you develop feelings for your friend with benefits then that can be quite difficult to suppress. Continuous physical intimacy will only make your feelings grow even more.

This is why after one of the people involved develops feelings, most FWB relationships end.


2) Keeping Unrealistic Expectations

Your FWB relationship will never work if you’re keeping unrealistic expectations from him her.

It’s important to know that your friend isn’t obligated to be sexually available for you all the time. Similarly, there’s no room for jealousy or possessiveness in this arrangement either.

If he/she wants to engage in physical acts with another person, then it’s entirely their choice.

So it’s always a great idea to discuss what’s allowed and what isn’t at the start of this relationship.


3) Making it About Yourself Only

If you’re not able to satisfy your FWB in the bed, then physical attraction will only keep them around for so long.

This is the reason we highlighted the importance of giving as much as possible.

Let’s say you’re in the mood to have sex and your FWB comes through for you.

So it would be a nice gesture to help them satisfy their sexual needs as well when he/she is in the mood.

Things won’t last long if you only look for your own convenience in this type of casual relationship.




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.