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30 Funny Ways To Ask For Sex

Just because you’re trying to hook up with someone doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show any signs of personality.

Adding a touch of humor can make you look more charming, but also increase your chances of getting laid.

But of course, moderation is the key here. You don’t want to go overboard and make yourself look like a clown.

And definitely, you don’t want to come off as a rude person or someone sexually desperate.

So we’ve listed some funny ways to ask for sex over text as well as fun ways to ask to hook up face to face.

If you are wondering what are some funny ways to ask for sex, then here are 30 phrases that you can use.

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Funny Ways to Ask for Sex Over Text

ask for sex over text


1. I Was Feeling Off Today But You Turned Me On

This might sound a bit corny, so send it on text and late at night when he/she is also probably horny.


2. Do You Want to Be the Peanut Butter to My Banana?

In case you don’t already know, peanut butter and banana are a great combination. We’re sure she’ll be tempted to try it as well…


3. I Don’t Believe In Karma, But I Do Believe in Kama-Sutra

If you plan on using this, then please don’t just cling on to the vanilla missionary position.


4. Smash or Nah?

Sometimes it’s the simple things in life that can help us go a long way. And the same goes for this popular phrase.


5. I’m New In Town, Could You Give Me Directions to Your Bedroom?

The beauty of this phrase is that you can use it to hit on strangers on the street and also on your Tinder matches.


6. I Have A Super Comfortable Bed – Wanna Try it Out?

Just make sure you aren’t banging him/her on the couch afterward…that would be embarrassing.


7. A Good Love Making Session Lasts 13 Minutes…So Do You Have 13 Minutes to Spare?

Hey, we aren’t making this one up – it’s even backed up by studies.


8. I’m a Pirate and The Only Thing I Want is That Booty

You aren’t just looking for that booty, but also her treasure chest


9. Want to Join Santa’s Naughty List Together?

The Santa won’t be bringing any condoms for you though, so make sure to pack your own stock.


10. Open up your Gryffindoor, let me Slytherin my Ravenclaw

If she’s a Harry Potter fan, then she’s bound to be in your bed after this.


11. You’ve Committed a Sin, Therefore I Sentence To My Bed

Oh boy, the jury has declared its final decision, not much your wife or girlfriend can do now.


12. Can You Help Me with My Vitamin D Deficiency?

If this isn’t obvious enough for him, then he’s not worth taking the D from.


13. I Hope You Aren’t Religious, Because I Want to Make You Commit a Sin

Just don’t make the mistake of actually saying this to a religious guy or girl. You don’t want them to bring out the holy water.


Funny Ways To Ask For A Hook Up Face To Face

funny ways asking for hookups


14. You Look Really Good In That Dress, But I Think You’d Look Even Better After Taking It Off…

The perfect answer whenever a girls ask you how she is looking.


15. You’re So Hot, My Zipper is Falling For You

This might be a bit too direct for some, but feel free to use it if you’re talking to an open-minded girl.


16. This Might Sound Corny, But You’re Making Me Horny

This is a pretty good rhyme, if you’re creative enough then feel free to add another sexy verse after this.


17. You Need Any More Pickles for that Pickle Jar?

The best time to use this is when a girl is telling you about her past sexual experiences.


18. I am Disturbed By Your Lack of Nudity

Why shy away from switching to natural clothing? There is no better cool way to ask for sex.


19.  I’m Not Feeling Myself Today…Let Me Feel You Instead?

This one can be used by both men and women – but of course, women have a higher chance of getting the desired outcome.


20. Allow Me to Respect The Shit Out Of You?

A funnier way of saying “let me fuck your brains out”.


21. Did You Know Our Mouths Have Enough Room for an Extra Tongue…Want Me To Show You?

We are obviously not talking about initiating a French kiss here…This is just for research purposes.


22. This Shirt Looks Sexy On You, But So Would I…

He/she will definitely love your confidence after hearing this one.


23. Want to Know How It Feels to Get Your Soul Sucked Out?

The perfect thing to say to a guy if you want to tease him for a blowjob. The thought of it would make him horny.


24. Horses Aren’t the Only Thing That I Love Riding…

Share your horse-riding hobby with him/her and after that give a demo of your riding skills.


25. The Only Thing That Can Get In Our Way is Latex

Obviously, this is one thing that should always get in the way of love making.


26. Let’s Save Water and Shower Together

How cute is that? Showering together is obviously the best way to eliminate the world problem of water shortage.


27. I’ll Flip a Coin, What Do You Reckon Are My Chances of Getting A Head?

If you don’t get the head, then perhaps you can give her the tails – except, your tail is located at the front.


28. My Name’s Dora, Can You Let Me Explore Your Body?

Girls take notes – this is the perfect way to break the ice and also to ask for a guy to hook up.


29. If Guys Think With Their Dick Then You Know How to Blow Their Mind

If you didn’t get this, then say it and you’ll know what we mean after you get a good BJ.


30. Screw Me If I’m Wrong, But Have We Met Before?

This phrase isn’t as simple as it sounds. Read the first part again if you didn’t get it.


Tips To Ask To Smash 

Sure, asking for sex by making some joke is a good way to get laid. But there are other important factors you should know if you want to succeed.

As Tara explains in this video, confidence is very important when joking about having sex…

That shows that you know what you want and how to get it. At the same time, you’re offering the other person to refuse in a nice way without feeling under pressure.

Having sex is fun so we should keep the topic fun too. It isn’t a subject to be taken seriously.

And keep in mind that the sexual phrases above are just the beginning of your flirting journey, not the end.

So if she/he nicely declines your advance, don’t give up so easily but don’t be overwhelming.




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.