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How To Ask Someone To Hook Up: 7 Ways To Ask For Sex

ask someone to hook up

No matter how much you wish to hook up with a person, you simply can’t ask “do you want to fuck?” out of the blue.

It’s not only rude, but you can be sure that any interest they had in you will vanish then and there.

If you’re a guy, you might be branded as a creepy pervert. Whereas a girl will be seen as a slut.

You wouldn’t be okay with that, would you?

Therefore when you want to sleep with someone, you have to say what you want with finesse, on top of having the proper preparation.

That is to say, you have to give the right effort if you intend to hook up with somebody.

Learn what you need to do, and discover the perfect words to seal the deal.


What To Do Before Asking Someone For A Hook Up

guy asking for a hook up

When you want someone, it’s tempting to skip the appetizer and go for the main course.

Yet if you’re going to hook up, you must lay the groundwork first… Or else you might end up rejected straight away.

In light of this, you should follow these steps before you ask anyone to hook up:

  • Ensure they’re comfortable – People can’t relax when they’re hungry. Offer them food and drinks to make them feel at ease.
  • Establish chemistry – Create a sexy tension between the two of you. It’ll make them weak to your advances.
  • Flirt with them – Make your interest known and check if they’ll have good reactions to being physical with you. We’ve written the best tips to flirt with a stranger so you won’t seem creepy.
  • Let them know of your expectations – Talk about your stance on relationships, and be clear that you don’t want to get serious.

Once you’ve set up the stage, you can ask them to sleep with you.


7 Ways To Ask For A Hookup


1. We Match Pretty Well, Don’t We? Want To Test Just How Much Physically?

Are you hitting it off well? Then they’re probably into you, and you’re bound to be compatible in some way.

If you weren’t, things wouldn’t be this smooth.

Maybe you’ve got sexual chemistry… Or you’re on the same page about your relationship views.

Whatever it is, you’ll more or less have a positive response if you ask them to hook up with this.

It’s a direct question that nobody will be able to misread. It’s like you’re saying that your bodies will be in sync too.

Yet even when it’s a sexual invitation, it won’t sound rude since it’s playful.


2. I Seriously Think You’re Hot. Would You Be Open For Something Light And Fun?

You’ll meet plenty of vain men and women out there.

So if you notice that the person you’re targeting is one of them, your best odds of hooking up is to appeal to their vanity. They’ll be happy to hear that they are hot.

In fact, they’ll likely want to entertain you since you’ll make them feel good about themselves. These sort of people usually enjoy the attention and want to keep it coming.

This is definitely the best way to ask someone on Instagram to hook up. But before make sure to follow her/him as this lady is pointing out…


3. I’m Not Looking for A Girl/Boyfriend Yet, But How About Having Fun At My Place?

Suppose you didn’t have the chance to fully explain your intentions. In that case, you should deliver this message to the one you like, be it in person or over text.

It explains all the details yet doesn’t spoil the mood or turn things awkward.

And even though it’s worded casually, it’s still respectful. Besides that, this will settle any confusion that your potential partner had about your thoughts on dating.

You’re basically stating what you want and your limitation without being a jerk about it.

This is especially useful for those people who want just to hook up without committing to a relationship.


4. I Like You, But I’m Not Ready To Date Right Now. Would You Be Up For Something Casual?

People choose to have hookups when they aren’t into commitment. Despite this, a lot of them don’t want the prospect of a relationship to be entirely off the table.

Study Finds’ article reports that 68% of those who hook up know they tend to develop romantic feelings towards their casual partner.

For this reason, the person you’re aiming for will be more open to sleeping with you if you go with this question.

Although you only want a hook up at the moment, ‘right now’ implies you’re not closing the door on the chance of a serious relationship in the future.


5. I Want To Take You Home With Me Tonight. It’s Your Call, Though. No Pressure.

This is how to politely ask someone to hook up. It’ll work nicely for people who are going for a kind and courteous image.

It’s the ideal way to express your interest in casual sex while avoiding the typical fuckboy or slut vibe.

Plus, you’ll be putting the choice in the other person’s hands with ‘it’s your call.’ After all, not everybody likes to be forced to do something.

Furthermore, by saying ‘no pressure,’ you’re presenting yourself as a nice and understanding person.


6. I’m Not Into Something Serious Right Now, But You’re Turning Me On Real Bad. Want to Have Fun With Me At My Place?

If you see clear signs of attraction and wants to get to the point, go with this question.

Being upfront about it shows that you’re confident. And people in general love to deal with confident individuals.

Also, you won’t waste time beating around the bush.

The main focus of this message will be that they’re turning you on strongly. As a result, the phrasing will overshadow the first part and emphasize that you’re essentially drooling over them.

It’ll make it seem like you didn’t think of fooling around but that you terribly want them. In short, they’re a special case to you.

How could they not want to enjoy that?


7. I’m Really Attracted To You, But I’m Not Looking For A Serious Relationship. Perhaps A Hook Up?

People like confident partners. In spite of this, many aren’t good at dealing with such bold individuals.

In this situation, they prefer a person who won’t be overwhelming but approach them in a subdued manner instead.

With this in mind, you should ask these types of people to spend the night with this message. They’ll appreciate the honesty and hint of nervousness of the ‘perhaps a hook up’ part.

You won’t come off as demanding or aggressive at all. In addition, this is also the most polite way to ask someone to hook up over text.




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.