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7 Ways To Initiate A Hook Up Without Sounding Desperate

initiate a hook up

Being in a serious relationship can be nice. Yet, not everyone wants to be tied down to one boyfriend or girlfriend.

The truth is that many folks only want to hook up or get into a friend with benefits relationship.

But whether you’re going after a friend or stranger, people can easily misread your sexual advances to mean something more.

When this happens, things can get awkward or stressful later on.

So, to prevent uncomfortable situations, you need to know how to properly initiate a hookup or FWB relationship. In this article, we’ll show you only proven ways.


7 Ways to Start A Hook Up Smoothly


1. Be Clear About Your Intentions

Your goal is to hook up, not to date, isn’t it?

So you’ve got to be clear about your intentions from the start. Unless you say it, they won’t have a clue about what you want.

Staying quiet about this vital detail is what leads to misunderstandings.

With this in mind, you must be frank, but wait for the right timing to talk about the topic.

Best it to do it after a drink or two, when they’re at ease. This will make them more agreeable.

And above all, always express your stance on relationships politely. Don’t ever be vulgar as how you explain it matters too.


2. Playfully Flirt With Them

It’s a given that you have to flirt when you want to initiate a hook up with anybody. They have to at least feel that you like them.

The easiest way to start is to flirt sexually over text which helps you to taste the water without risking embarrassment.

Make sure not to bring up any talk of being serious towards the person you’re interested in. Like joking about making them your boyfriend or girlfriend.

Because even if they laugh at it at the moment, they’ll surely be thinking about it deep inside.

It might scare off guys who don’t like to date, and girls, in particular, will likely get hung up on it. It’ll undoubtedly mess up your approach.


3. Don’t Be Pushy About It

Generally speaking, the quickest method to turn off a person is to force them to do something. After all, most people hate to be ordered around.

This is why if you want to sleep with somebody, be it as a one-time hook up or as friends with benefits, you should never be pushy about it.

For example, you should let them have space if they don’t give you a good answer when you ask to hook up. Furthermore, you’ll have a stronger impact on them when you say something like, “don’t do it if you don’t want to.”

This article by Very Well Mind supports this technique. It reports that people can be influenced to do something when someone tells them not to do it.


4. Create Sexual Tension

It’s common don’t be seen as a sexual partner, especially if they are your friend. But you can quickly change their view about you.

How can you do this?

By creating sexual tension. This is especially effective when you want to have an FWB relationship with someone you already know.

A few of the things you can try are, whispering in their ear, stroking their arms, and touching their inner thighs.

You can also build sexual tension over text by writing seductive messages and sending provocative personal photos.


5. Talk To Them About Sex

There’s no better topic than sex to turn any mood sexy. Due to this, you should naturally steer the conversation forward to sex topics if you want to initiate a hook up.

However, don’t randomly mention it out of nowhere, as it will make you sound creepy. And you’ll lose the other person’s respect and interest.

That’ll completely shut down any chances you have at getting into their pants.

For this reason, a good way to bring it up would be to joke about sex. Start by dropping a few funny dirty jokes until you feel they’re comfortable enough for you to ask sexual questions.

Todd has some interesting ways to get into conversations that lead to sex…

See also our dirty question to ask a girl to get an idea.


6. Make Sure They Have Fun

It’s a fact that happy people tend to react positively than when they’re in a different state.

Considering this, you’ll have an easier time getting someone to hook up with you when they’re having a blast.

Tell them funny stories, do interesting activities together, and talk about a shared interest.

Not only will you be more desirable in their eyes, but they’ll also want to sleep with you.

To a girl, you’ll be the fun guy who she can’t get enough of. And to a man, you’ll be the cool girl that he’ll badly want.

The bottom line here is the more fun they have, the higher your chances of scoring.


7. Be Casual About Sex

When hooking up, you have to avoid looking pathetic or desperate to be successful. You can’t expect someone to be all over you if they think you’re a loser, do you?

In other words, you have to be casual about sex.

Do your best to ask them with just the right amount of eagerness to prove your interest. Something like, “I really want to take you with me right now. But only if you want to.”

In addition, being calm about it will also make you appear more experienced even when you’re not.

This is another appealing trait that will make others want to sleep with you.




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.