Single Blog Title

This is a single blog caption

Hooking Up With Someone Who Has A Girlfriend

If you’ve been hooking up with someone who has a girlfriend then you might be in a moral dilemma.

Is it even right from an ethical point of view, and should you continue doing so?

And then comes another question: Why is he even hooking up with you when he already has a girlfriend?

Well, the answer isn’t as black and white, but that’s is why we’re here.

So without further ado, let’s shed some light on it.


Should I Hook Up With Someone Who Has a Girlfriend?

If women hook up with someone who already has a girlfriend, they’re often labeled as a “homewrecker”. However, we disagree with this mindset. It isn’t your fault.

Although you might feel it is ethically wrong, remember that you’re not responsible for his choices. Also, you don’t know if he is in an open relationship.

hook up with someone else in open relationship

You might be thinking you’re wronging his girlfriend. But don’t forget that he’s an adult and he is making the decisions for himself.

Keep in mind that the responsibility ultimately falls on the shoulder of the person who’s cheating on their partner. Not on who they’re cheating with.

If you decide to hook up with him regularly you should make sure to keep your expectations in check. If you start developing feelings for him, then this can overcomplicate things.

It’s highly unlikely that he’d end his relationship for you. Yet, there’s always a possibility.

But in short, if you’re enjoying the sex and you do not have to deal with any emotional drama, then we don’t see a problem.


Why Does He Want Me if He is Already in a Relationship?

If he’s already in a relationship then why does he want you? Well, there could be multiple reasons for it so let’s look into it one by one:


1. He’s Not Satisfied with His Relationship

Emotional and sexual dissatisfaction is one of the most common reasons why men start hooking up with other women.

There’s a chance that he might be engaging in regular conflicts with his girlfriend. And for whatever circumstances, he can’t get out of the relationship.

So instead, he’s resorting to getting sexual gratification from other places. Amidst everything he’s dealing with, you might be the one who’s making him feel at ease.

If that is indeed true and he’s dissatisfied with his relationship, then he’ll eventually develop feelings for you.


2. He Has Started to Fall for You

Coming from our previous point, it isn’t uncommon for men to develop feelings for a woman they’re sleeping with.

If he really is dissatisfied with his current relationship, then the chances of this happening are quite high.

Yet, this alone may not always be the cause. It might also be the fact that there’s something about you that turns him on and keeps him interested.

He may have fallen for your open-mindedness, intelligence, or even beauty – the reasons are endless. And there is always a reason when a guy hook up more than once.

But how things move forward from here entirely depends on you. Unless he doesn’t break up with his current girlfriend, you’ll have to deal with a lot of drama.

So instead, stick to casual sex to avoid dealing with emotional baggage. At least until he’s single again.


3. You’re Too Hard to Resist

Some women are hot, and then there are women who’d men do anything to sleep with. You might be in the latter category.

No matter how much he tries, he can’t resist you. You’re like his guilty pleasure and he keeps craving more for you.

And if that makes you feel bad, then don’t worry. As we mentioned earlier, at the end of the day, he’s still responsible for his decisions.


4. He Loves the Sex with You

Is the sexual chemistry between you two getting better and better with each encounter?

If so, then you shouldn’t be surprised why he keeps coming back. Having good sexual chemistry with someone isn’t easy to come by.

Whether it’s your mind-blowing oral game or your kinky games, all of this can make a man melt.

To top it off, the sex life he already has with his current girlfriend might also be underwhelming.

She might not be as passionate as you are. Or there’s also a possibility that the two of them don’t even fuck anymore.

As this study suggests, men are urged to have sex more frequently than women. So if he’s not getting any action with his girlfriend, then the only way for him is to seek it outside.


5. He Simply Loves to Play Around

A research by the University of Colorado Boulder found that around 21% of men engage in infidelity.

The reasons could either be from any of the ones we’ve mentioned above. Or simply the fact that he loves to play around.

There’s even no guarantee that you’re the only person he’s having sex with. But keeping multiple sexual partners after your marriage can already be a challenge.

At the same time, it’s also quite risky – so the likelihood of this happening is low.

In the worst-case scenario, his relationship can be jeopardized if even a single girl he’s hooking up with opens her mouth.


6. You Remain Discrete About It

Even after getting into a relationship, the majority of the men and women feel tempted to sleep with other people. The only thing that stops them from infidelity is the fear of their partner finding out.

But if they can find someone who knows how to keep things discrete, then that’s a dream scenario.

In this case, you might be the one who’s creating the dream scenario for him. You two frequently have sex, and you know how to remain discrete about it.

So as long as his partner doesn’t find out, it’s a win-win situation for him and likely one of the reasons why he’s hooking up with you.


Should I Sleep With Him And Ignore His Girlfriend?

Sleep with a guy with girlfriend

Ethics vary from person to person. You can’t always please everybody because something ethical for you, may not be for another person.

In this case, you shouldn’t feel accountable for what your hookup partner is responsible for. He’s the one who’s in a relationship.

Yet, he’s hooking up with you so he has probably evaluated the pros and cons. As long as things aren’t becoming overcomplicated, enjoy the ride while it lasts.




  • Ashley Miller

    Ashley Miller is a Dating Coach and author for She teaches women how to deal with self-esteem and insecurities issues and how to flirt, have casual hookups, or get into a serious relationship. She has many years of personal coaching experience and is particularly passionate about helping people to find dating success regardless of race or gender. You will find her cooking delicious pies, enjoying a book, or playing skying in her free time.