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How To Become A Swinger: 7 Tips To Start Swinging

becoming a swinger

A monogamous relationship is the default choice for most couples. But let’s not forget that at some point, the vanilla sex life might become boring.

If you’re in the same situation, probably you’re thinking about how to start swinging with your partner.

We understand that transitioning toward the swinger lifestyle isn’t easy.

You need to get the consent of your partner, build mutual trust and also set boundaries to make the experience enjoyable.

So if you’re wondering how to become a swinger then in this article, we’ll share 7 tips to help you get started.

And at the end, we’ll share a few stories about how people start swinging.

 

1. Understand What You’re Getting Into

Each person may have a different definition of swinging, so before you jump into it, make sure to do your research.

When we’re talking about swinging, we basically mean forming sexual relationships with couples purely for pleasure.

Some people often mistake swinging for a polyamorous relationship and seek both sexual and emotional intimacy.

So make sure to clearly discuss your expectations before you start hitting it off with a couple.

Also, keep in mind that swinging is always done between two or more couples. If you’re going alone to have sex with a couple, then that’s is a threesome.

 

2. Talk To Your Partner About Your Fantasies

The first step to start swinging is to be on the same page with your partner.

We know that bringing up this conversation can be a bit difficult at first – but you have to take the leap sooner or later.

Besides, you never know, your partner might be feeling the same way, but they aren’t talking about it because they don’t want to weird you out.

With that said, don’t be too straightforward by saying “let’s try having sex with other guys and girls”. Instead, open up to the idea gradually.

For example, tell your partner that you’ve watched recently a documentary about this lifestyle. And ask about their thoughts.

Matt & Bianca the owner of a swinging club have also some good tips to offer…

Alternatively, if you believe that action talks louder than words, just book a room in a hotel popular among swingers and see what happens.

Just don’t rush into it and understand each other’s personal boundaries.

 

3. Meet Like-Minded People

Now that the basics of swinging are out of the way, the next step is to find like-minded people.

There are two ways for you to meet swingers. One is to simply visit a swinger club, while the other is to use a site like Adult Friend Finder.

If you’re just starting with the swinger lifestyle, then directly visiting a swinger club may be too overwhelming for you.

The reason is there are too many horny people around trying to seduce you and too many sexual activities taking place.

Besides, not every city has a swinger club, to begin with, so this only leaves you with the second option which is to look for swingers online.

But overall, we wouldn’t dive into too many details because we’ve already covered how to find swingers in detail.

 

4. Learn The Rules of Swinging

New couples often think that swinging is about mindlessly swapping partners. But that definitely isn’t the case.

There are certain rules of swinging that you have to familiarize yourself with before you enter into this lifestyle.

A few of them are to openly communicate and obviously practice safe sex.

Failing to do so can potentially damage your relationship with your partner and also make the experience uncomfortable for the other couple.

And aside from the general swinging rules, every lifestyle club also has its own guidelines and dress code policies that you need to follow.

So if you’re looking for more info then check out the “Sex Clubs: Swinging And Sex Parties” section in our city guides.

 

5. Take It Slow and Easy

The key to making your swinging experience enjoyable is to take things slow and easy.

You don’t directly have to participate in an orgy with your partner. Just focus on getting comfortable with the lifestyle.

We suggest beginners ease into it first by watching swinger porn and discussing sexual fantasies.

And if you or your partner are nervous then it isn’t necessary to have penetrative sex with another couple either on your first meeting.

Build some chemistry by drinking together, and then have some foreplay and oral.

However, if you’re personally inviting a couple then make sure that they know about this beforehand.

 

6. Create a Safe Word with Your Partner

The last thing you want is to be stuck in a sexual situation that you don’t know how to get out of.

That’s why we can’t emphasize how important it is for you to create safe words with your partner. Especially when it’s your first time swinging.

The purpose of these safe words is to indicate pain and pleasure. Use them when you’re engaging with other couples so your partner knows how your experience is going.

 

7. Stay Honest and Open To Communication

Lastly, swinging is all about mutual trust between you and your partner. The key to making it work is to stay honest and open to communication.

If your partner is feeling uncomfortable having sex with a couple, then you shouldn’t push them.

Swinging can be a great way to make sex life more thrilling – but only if your partner consents to it.

So make sure to consider their feelings before you jump into it to make the experience pleasurable for both of you.

 

How People Start Swinging

beginner swingers

The thing is most people suddenly get the idea of trying swinging. And not my watching some porn movie or similar.

It usually comes up after sharing sexual experiences or fantasies with their partner.

She/he shares that is their fantasy to have a threesome or group sex. The partner gets excited about the idea and they go for it.

Or they might go to a party together, have too much booze, get horny and end up in a threesome.

So there are conscious and unconscious situations that can lead a couple to start swinging.

And in case you want to go for it, create an account on Adult Friend Finder and put yourself out there.

 

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  • We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.

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