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How To Hook Up With A Guy: 18 Essential Tips

You’ve found the guy you really want to hook up with. You might have chatted to him a few times or just saw him around. You might go to high school together.

Perhaps he even bought you a drink at the bar or at the party last weekend and you felt a strong attraction. But you didn’t know how to ask him to sleep with you.

Don’t worry, asking for a hookup especially if it’s your first time is a struggle for everyone. And this should not be a barrier to have sex casually.

So how to hook up with a guy without being awkward?

In this article, we’ll give you 13 hook up tips for specific situations plus 5 essential hookup tips for safety and pleasure even if it’s your first time.


Best Tips To Hook Up With Guys In Different Places

Let’s start by learning how to hook up with a guy…


At A Party

hooking up with a guy during a party

First of all, appearances matter here, and no one gets what they want by being a wallflower. Hence you have to dress well to get noticed.

1. You don’t have to reveal everything, but you do have to be confident in your skin.
2. Don’t wear clothes that you’re not comfortable in cause they’ll reflect in your movements.

Aside from that, show the guy that you’re a fun or interesting person to talk to. Men love women who look like they’re having a great time and find them more attractive than the quiet ones.

3. Flirt by making eye contact and smiling at them.


At a Bar

hooking up with a guy at the bar for singles

With the bars full of people, you have to scan the area thoroughly to pick someone that appeals to you.

4. Check for guys who aren’t with women and look like they’re single.
5. Avoid guys that have a wedding ring or a date.

Don’t be afraid about making the first move, and be as proactive as you can. Plus, since you’re in a bar, you can approach them discreetly.

6. Catch their attention from afar by staring. Nothing says “I’m into you” better than eye-banging them.
7. You can also send a drink or note to them.
8. Walk near them if it’s possible.


In High School

hook ups with guys in high school

Nowadays, as soon as people hit their teen years, there’s a high chance that they’re getting laid.

This article on the Washington Post backs it up, as it says that there’s a hook up culture in most high schools.

9. House parties are the best place to hook up for teens.
10. Talk to a guy and move to an area of the house where the two of you can be alone.

Hooking up can mean different things to teenagers. It could just be kissing for some, but sex for others. This is why you should talk first and be on the same page about it.


Online (Tinder) – How Do You Hook Up With A Guy Over Text? 

hook up message with a guy for the first time on Tinder

Texting or messaging a guy online can be nerve-wracking for a lot of girls. It’s personal and distant at the same time as you only have their words to go on and nothing else.

So, how to ask a guy to hook up over text without being awkward?

11. Start with small talk. Ask how they are or compliment them for something.
12. Chat about common interests to create a good and comfy mood.

After talking for a bit, find the right timing to bring up the topic of hooking up.

13. Be flirty and decide if you want to be indirect, “want to hang out at my place?” or daring, “I want you, want to come here?”


5 Essential Tips For Every Occasion

After giving you tips to hook up with a guy in specific situations, how do you prepare for a hookup?


14. Don’t Expect Anything

Always keep in mind that hook ups are meant to be casual and that things change all the time. This means that whatever you guys might feel when you’re drunk or in the mood isn’t guaranteed to stay the same.

After all, it’s not uncommon for the attraction to disappear once you’ve banged one another. In addition, you might not even be into the person anymore once the beer goggles are off.

Furthermore, there’s the possibility that you might never see the person again. This is actually likely to happen if either you or your partner is just a tourist.


15. Choose A Location

It may not look like it, but where you’re gonna fuck is a big deal in hook ups.

If you choose your place, it puts you in control while being in your comfort zone. It’s cause you have the power to send your partner away as soon as you’re satisfied.

Whereas if you go to his place, you don’t have to worry about cleaning up and can leave as soon as you want.

There’s also the option of going to a hotel and the like if you don’t mind spending money. This way, the two of you don’t have to worry about your privacy too.


16. Be Your Natural Self

Even if you’re just looking for a casual hook up it’s crucial to attract the right partner.

Even though your goal might be only to have a nightstand, who you’re doing it with directly affects your enjoyment.

By being yourself, you’ll be able to draw in someone with who you can have a connection. Having this with someone, even for a short time, will not only make you relax faster but improve the quality of sex as well. This means you’ll reach orgasm much faster.

This video specifically talks about this by explaining how having a connection will lead to better sex for both partners…


17. You Don’t Need To Pretend

There’s no need to pretend to be anything when you’re hooking up. It’s definitely going to be awkward at the start. But that’s only natural since it’s your first time with each other.

You don’t have to worry about it, though, since the feeling will go away once the two of you are turned on and ready to fuck.

It’s also vital that you’re honest with what you want in sex. Tell your partner what you can and can’t do.

If you’re not upfront about this, there’s a chance you won’t match in bed and end up with an unsatisfying experience.


18. Be Prepared

Hookups are supposed to be fun. To keep it that way, it’s your responsibility to bring your own protection to save yourself from all kinds of possible worries.

As the saying goes, it’s better to be safe than sorry, especially when it comes to STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

Also, you want to prepare to hook up with a guy by getting your mind and body ready for the occasion. So you won’t be nervous.




  • Ashley Miller

    Ashley Miller is a Dating Coach and author for She teaches women how to deal with self-esteem and insecurities issues and how to flirt, have casual hookups, or get into a serious relationship. She has many years of personal coaching experience and is particularly passionate about helping people to find dating success regardless of race or gender. You will find her cooking delicious pies, enjoying a book, or playing skying in her free time.