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How To Hook Up With Someone: 9 Steps To Get Laid

Even if hook ups are typical these days, it’s still not easy if you’re just getting into it now. And as a beginner, you likely won’t know how to hook up with someone fast without being awkward.

It’s only natural, though, since how can a person make the right moves when they don’t know what to do?

This is why you should stick to this article if you want to learn the steps to hook up with someone you don’t know.

We’ve done the stressful part, so you won’t have to. Just follow the 9 steps we’ve listed down below to get laid quickly.


How To Hook Up With Someone For The First Time

people hooking up with someone the first time at a private party


1. Put Yourself Out There

Nowadays, it doesn’t matter if you’re a homebody or a party animal cause everyone has a fair shot of getting some action. You just have to make a bit of effort, and put yourself out there.

And one of the best ways to hook up with someone for the first time is to sign up on hook up apps and sites. There are tons of people like you that want to get laid, and all you got to do is set up a profile.


2. Be Prepared

Before you hook up with anyone, you should ask yourself a couple of things like:

  • Are you fine with them going to your place?
  • Do you want a one-night stand or to date casually?
  • Do you have condoms?

According to this article by Healthline, knowing the answers to these types of questions will help you figure out what you’re looking for in casual sex.

Also, it’s important to know the main hook up rules to avoid making the experience awkward and underwhelming for both you and your sex partner.


3. Start With Something Light

Whether you’re approaching a person in real life, or online, remember to keep it light.

The thing is, first impressions are important. If you come on strong, they might think you’re pushy. But if you’re serious, you might scare them off.

For this reason, the key to finding a sex partner is to be casual. Go with some small talks or light topics to make them relax and not put up their guard.


4. Be Kind

If you think that there’s no need to be nice since you won’t see them again, then you won’t have the greatest chances of hooking up with someone.

This article by Psychology Today states that people tend to choose kind partners. This means that showing kindness will make a person more attractive to others.

In effect, men and women generally prefer to have sex with someone who’s polite and treats them with respect.


5. Don’t Rush

Although some people may be okay with having sex right away, not everyone wants to be jumped at. Women especially don’t want to be seen like they’re a piece of meat.

In light of this, you should at least get to know your potential hook up. By doing this, you can see what sort of person they are and connect a little with each other.

This will make it easier to create sexual tension between you two.


6. Be Honest But Don’t Be Negative About It

It’s vital to be honest with your possible partner, but don’t be negative about it. Cause as much as they like you, saying you hate relationships directly could ruin the sexy vibe you’ve been building up.

Of course, you shouldn’t deceive them, but being too frank may feel like some form of rejection for some people.

With this in mind, you should use “I’m not looking for something serious right now.” in place of “I don’t like relationships.”


7. Don’t Drag It On

Once you’ve set the mood and have shown that you’re clearly into them, you should make a move towards hooking up.

You see, while you shouldn’t rush them at the start, you also shouldn’t wait too long… Or else things might get awkward, or worse, they might lose interest.

Hence, read the room and take the hint as soon as they express that they want to have fun with you. There’s no need to worry at this point, as they’re just as horny as you.


8. Stick To Normal Stuff

Unless you’ve talked about your kinks with your partner, it’s not a good idea to get crazy in bed.

In this case, since it’s your first time having sex with this new partner, you should stick to vanilla stuff.

Avoid toys or any rough play that you want to try out, that comes later when things get boring or stale.

You can find a list of fun things to do when hooking up with someone for the first time here.

Not only will this save everyone from any discomfort or awkwardness, but it’ll also assure that no one goes beyond their limits.


9. Make It Good For Everyone

The purpose of hooking up is to feel good. Therefore if you enjoy fucking your partner, then you have to return the favor. On that note, be open with what you like and ask them what they want from you.

Aside from that, the two of you should voice out your turn offs too. It’s cause knowing what to do and not to do during sex will make the hook up better for everyone.


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  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.