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New York Sex Guide For Singles And Couples

If you’re looking to get laid in New York and have great sex experiences, this guide offers tips and guidance.

We’ll show you how to hook up with singles and couples no matter your age, sexual interests, or the type of relationship you’re after.

From one nightstand to finding a regular fuck buddy, there are several opportunities to have sex in New York.


The New York Guide was last updated on 16 June 2023

hook up guide New York

New York is one of the best places to hook up in the US. There are many young people that relocate here for career reasons and they are very horny.

Then you have millions of tourists that come here every year from all over the world, and they are pretty eager to get laid.

When it comes to swinging, sex parties, and BDSM activities, you have several clubs and online communities to find meet and fuck activities.


Gender Ratio: women vs men – There are fewer men than women in New York with a gender ratio of 99 men to 100 women.

Ethnicity – 31.1% Caucasian, 21.6% Black, 24.3% Hispanic, 14.5% Asian, and 8.5% Some Other Race.

Number of Sex Clubs – 8 swinger clubs, 43 strip clubs and 1 BDSM club.



Girls in New York

Girls from the big apple are confident with their sexuality and enjoy having casual sex.


Look And Physical Appearance

You’ll quickly see that many women in New York are white, with light hair and eyes. And they have thin to beefy bodies, while their height is 5’4.

Aside from them, there are lots of brunette Latinas with dark brown to black eyes. Though they have meatier frames, they’re shorter and sexier.

At any rate, they like using makeup and stick to popular streetwear outfits. But in the business district expect formal wear.


Attitude And Values

New York women are generally ambitious and go-getters. In this case, their main concern is themselves and their jobs. This is why they’re busy all the time.

Besides that, they’re the assertive type and don’t like wasting their time and effort. This is why you should know how to flirt with a girl in person and deal with her face to face if you want to hook up.

They’re also aggressive about their dating life, seeing that it’s common for them to date and hook up with several sexual partners at the same time.



According to this article by Red Online, New York girls love having sex. They’re number 19 on the list of most sexually active women in the world.

To add to that, they also extremely satisfying with their sexual life.

Tons of girls in New York are horny and have sex whenever they want. They also do their best to enjoy sex no matter who their partner is.


Summary of New York Girls

  • 3 traits: New York women are ambitious, go-getters, and assertive.
  • 2 tips: To win over the girls in New York, show them that you can afford luxuries and be assertive.
  • 1 fact: It’s normal for women in New York to date more than one person at the same time.


Men in New York

The confident New York men are capable workers in their field and the ideal fuck buddies for those women who are looking for fun.


Look and Physical Appearance

Most men in New York are white and tall. They typically have blonde or light brown hair, blue to brown eyes, and fit to chubby figures.

You’ll spot many Latinos as well who have dark-colored hair and dark brown eyes. They’re smaller than the average American at 5’9 or below and have fit to slightly fat bodies.

Given that they’re stylish, they know the newest clothing trends and always wear in-season outfits.


Attitude and Values

Many New York guys come from Ivy League schools, meaning they’re smart and capable. As a result, they end up having good jobs and are confident in themselves.

They have a fast-paced lifestyle too, and this makes them prefer convenience above all. In fact, they’re quick to leave when the situation turns stressful.

With that in mind, it’s normal for them to go for hookups or flings rather than date someone seriously.

As explained in our last article “why do guys want casual relationships“, dating isn’t a priority for New York guys. Career comes always first.



Almost half of New York men have sex lives by 18. This CDC survey backs it up as over 46.8% of 12th– grade boys have had sex.

Moreover, not all of them have safe sex, as this New York Post article says that 68.2% of men in New York didn’t use a condom the last time they had sex.

With attention to their sex lives, most guys here are already loose before they get into their 20s and like having bare sex.


Summary of New York Men

  • 3 traits: New York guys are smart, confident, and have a fast-paced lifestyle.
  • 2 tips: To attract New York men, make them think they’re amazing. Talk about light topics cause they don’t like getting too serious.
  • 1 fact: Men in New York have sexual stamina.


Sex Life And Hookup Culture

meet girls New York getting laid

New York people live busy lives witch reflect on the sexual activities

New Yorkers like hookups, there is no doubt about it. Being busy with their career, they don’t have much time for serious dating.

For the same reason people here prefer find hookups online rather than visiting social places like bars and clubs.


Overall Mindset About Casual Sex

This City Life Index article shows that locals enjoy casual sex as 64% have had a one-night stand. This means that they’re open-minded to the point that they like fucking strangers.

It’s been reported on several occasions that people hook up with Uber drivers for instance.


Swinger Activities in New York

As one of the most sex-positive cities in the USA, you’ll easily find many swingers clubs in New York that will please all sorts of desires.

Besides the usual themes like BDSM and kinks, there’s also a women’s-only club and a few sex clubs that don’t allow single men.

Many of the clubs are private, and there are plenty of high-end clubs if you want something fancy. Guests have to sign up as members to get in, and fees range from $20 to $1,750.

If you want to hook up with local swingers without the need to visit a club, on sites like Adult Friend Finder there are many horny couples into threesomes and swopping. The community is easy-going, fun, and respectful.

Read More: How To Join A Sex Party In New York


Is It Easy To Hook Up in New York?

All things considered, the locals look cold. But in reality, most of them are down for hookups.

Whether it’s morning or night, you can actually quickly meet someone here who’s only into having stress-free fun in bed.


Where to Meet People For Sex in New York

We’ve already written the best places to find hookups wherever you happen to be.

But when in New York, these are the best places to find casual sex or a fuck buddy…


1. Sex Dating Online

New York is one of the most sexually liberal cities in the world. The people here are also quite progressive and online hookups have been on the rise.

This is a blessing for introverts and busy people as they don’t have to bar hop to find hookups.

You can use sites like Adult Friend Finder to find a quick fuck. It’s one of the best hookup sites in New York having thousands of members searching for no-string attached sex.

There you’ll find partner swapping, threesomes, and invitations to sex parties.


2. Night Hookups in Nightclubs and Bars

The City of New York doesn’t require any introductions. From large skyscrapers to monumental museums and even funky night-time venues, it’s not surprising why this city is referred to as “The Big Apple”.

You don’t have to wait for the weekends to enjoy the nightlife. Even on Mondays, you’ll find nightclubs and bars full of people having the time of their lives.

meet girls New York best single bars get laid

Cocktail bar in Bushwick – Brooklyn

In fact, some people even call it an adult’s playground due to the large number of pick up bars and nightclubs. In short, you can party your ass off then end the night with some good sex.

Below we’ve compiled a list of the best bars and nightclubs in New York to make your hunt easier:

• Bemelmans Bar – Located at E 76th St, a beautiful bar with a beautiful crowd. Mainly popular among older women so it’s also one of the best cougar bars in NYC.

If you’re into older women, check out the best places where to find married women.

• The INKwell Club & Cruise – Located at 8th Ave, a premier nightclub for sexy grown folks. You’ll meet plenty of vulnerable people here to hookup with.

• Off the Wagon – Located at MacDougal St, offers a variety of fun activities with a young and energetic crowd. Thus, making it the top college bar in New York.

• Rumpus Room – Located at Eldridge St, an exciting nightclub with diverse music, good lighting and a wild crowd.

Stay around long enough and after a couple of drinks, you might find a partner for a nightstand.

• The Beast Next Door – Located at 27th St, a cocktail bar with DJs and live bands lined up. An ideal place to meet singles in New York

To name a “single best nightlife spot” wouldn’t do justice to NYC.

There are 5 boroughs (smaller cities) in New York that we will be looking at. Each of them packs its own unique night-time experience and plenty of hookup opportunities:

  • Brooklyn – Most populous borough in NYC, famous for its live music venues and cultural attractions.
  • The Bronx – No better area to enjoy the hip-hop scene. A large number of youngsters flock here.
  • Queens – Known for its diversity, you’ll find people from all walks of life at this place.
  • Manhattan – Unarguably the heart of New York as it’s the home to Times Square and other iconic landmarks.
  • Staten Island – Famous for its beaches and greenery. A perfect place for a romantic getaway.

The only downside of the nightlife of New York is that it can be quite expensive. However, once you party here, you wouldn’t want to go anywhere else in the world.


3. Everyday Life Situations

Although it may be surprising to some, the daytime game might be a bit tricky in New York. Like most big cities, people are busy with their lives and hardly have time to stop for a chat.

With that said, Times Square is one of the best places to meet singles in New York. Not only it is one of the most popular tourist attractions but also the busiest pedestrian area in the world.

Then you have Fifth Avenue which is a well-known shopping district where you can also find a mix of locals and foreigners to extend your search.

If it is lunchtime, then head over to one of the coffee shops at Hanover Square or even Wall Street during weekdays to mingle with professionals.

Lastly, gyms like EverybodyFights NYC can be a hookup magnet, given that you’re athletic and strong enough.


4. Sex Clubs: Swinging And Sex Parties in New York

New York Swinger club party getting laid

The people of New York are open-minded and tech-savvy. Therefore, you’ll meet several couples who’d be down for some experimentation in their sex lives.

Just have a look at any hookup apps for couples and you’ll find plenty of polyamory couples in New York interested in casual sex. For getting private invitations to gangbangs and orgies the members of Adult Friend Finder are welcoming forward newcomers to the city.

Then you’ve several sex clubs that organize theme nights. Following is a list of the top swinger clubs in New York:

• One Leg Up – An erotic sex club that welcomes all sexualities. However, heterosexual men need to be escorted by a female to enter the premises.

• Labyrinth – All adventurous adults are welcome to enjoy the sensual atmosphere here with other couples.

• Killing Kittens – Known for its sexually themed parties, this couple and females-only club is heaven for swingers.

• NSFW club – A private club where you can easily participate in orgies and gangbangs.

• Club Chemistry – This is both a swinger and a kink club. Just keep an eye out on their calendar.

Swingers clubs are only one way to get into a New York sex party. There are also online communities of kinksters that organize private meet-ups.


5. BDSM Venues

In New York, you can explore your wildest sexual fantasies without being judged.

Whether you’re into pain play, choking, domination or submission, you’ll easily find a kinkster to play with you.

Hooking up New York fetish submissive sexual desire

For starters, if you want to explore your kinks with a young crowd, then Fetishtribe hosts monthly events highlighting different interests like spanking and BDSM play.

Alternatively, NYC TNG is a group catered towards people aged 18-35 who want to explore their sexual fantasies. And if you’re a first-timer, then The Eulenspiegel Society can introduce you to the world of BDSM.

Lastly, online communities on sites like are also highly active and can easily help you find fetish parties.


6. Transsexual And Transgenders Places

Finding trans in New York won’t be hard as there are countless LGBT bars scattered throughout the city.

One of the biggest trans-party venues is the Tagine Lounge. Apart from that, any place that hosts live drag shows is also a magnet for T’s.

Thus, checking out places like Fairytail Lounge and The TownHouse will surely be worth it.

Note that the venues above welcome all sexualities and on some nights, you might not see too many trans.

If you exclusively want to hookup or even date trans, then signing up on well knows well-known trans sites would never disappoint.


7. Strip Clubs

New York strip joints are either full of bachelors who want to make some naughty memories or businessmen on a corporate trip.

There are numerous strip clubs located across the city. Most of them charge a $15-30 cover fee and private room dances can go as high as $180.

Following is a list of the best strip clubs in New York:

• Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club – Located at W 51st St, a world-famous strip joint with more than 100+ dancers to keep you entertained.

• Rick’s Cabaret – Located at 33rd St, you’ll literally walk down a red carpet while entering and the girls will also treat you like royalty.

• Flashdancers NYC – Located at 45th St, you’ll hands-down get the best lap dance in New York in this strip club.

strip club in New York to hook up with girls

If you don’t want to spend a fortune to watch a stripper in a club, you can simply go on Strip Chat and have some fun there.


Best Places for Outdoor Sex

We’ve already covered the best places to hook up during the day and the best places for car sex anywhere you happen to be.

Following are the best places for outdoor sex in New York City:

• Flushing Meadows Park – There are plenty of nooks and crannies in this large park to fuck.

• Fort Tyron Park – Located near Hudson River, anyone hardly visits this park at night.

• Cascade Mountain – You don’t have to hike to the peak, there are many hidden spots for you to have some steamy time.

• Koscuiuszko Bridge – The underpass of this bridge becomes silent as a whistle at the night making it a great place for car sex.

Kosciuszko bridge

If you have a fetish for watching other people fuck, then nudist beaches also often have some naughty things going on. Check out Fort Tilden Beach and Jacob Riis Park.


Adult Hotels And Hostels

If you’re staying in New York, then it’s only natural to book a hotel near the busiest and tourist-centric areas of the world: Times Square in Manhattan.

There is plenty of things to do, but most importantly overwhelming chances to hook up with strangers.

Here are the best hotels in New York Times Square:

• Sanctuary Hotel

TRYP by Wyndham

The Knickerbocker Hotel

And if you’re a solo traveler, then there are enough party hostels in New York for you to crash in and find hookups:

• Freehand New York

• NY Moore Hostel

• The Local Hostel


Safe Sex And Clinics

Sexual healthcare in New York is expensive but condoms aren’t. Wear them today, to prevent regrets tomorrow.

But still, if you’re looking for sexual health clinics then Chelsea Sexual Health Clinic and Riverside Sexual Health Clinic are government STD clinics that charge less and provide reliable results.

This end New York sex guide. I wish you several hookups.




  • Louise And Dan

    We are born and bred Californians who love socializing, adventures, and sex. Being active in the ethical non-monogamy communities here locally and online, it's only natural for us to start this site to provide a 100% honest source of information about the sexual lifestyle in some of the world’s liberated adult destinations. We spend most of our free time traveling to hook up with singles, couples, and people of all genders around the world.