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San Diego Hook Up Guide For Singles And Couples

If you want to get laid in San Diego in less than a day, carry on reading. You won’t believe how simple it is after reading this guide.

We explain how to hook up with singles and couples no matter your age, sexual kinks and type of sexual relationship you’re after.

From one night stands to find a regular fuck buddy, there are several opportunities for real hookups in San Diego.

The San Diego Guide was last updated on 10 January 2021

San Diego guide hook up

San Diego is a beautiful beach city known for its warm climate and sexually liberal people. There you’ll find a growing swinger scene and several party venues during the day and night.

With a 1.4 million population and a friendly atmosphere, it’s easy to find hookups and fuck buddies even if you aren’t actively looking.

But keep in mind that good physic here is very important as people care about self-image.



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Girls in San Diego
Look, values and sexuality

Men in San Diego
Look, values and sexuality

Sex Life & Hook Up Culture
Casual sex, swinging activities and hooking up in San Diego

Where to Meet People For Casual Sex in San Diego
Hookups, sex dating, swinging, orgies, strip clubs, transgender and BDSM

Best Places For Outdoor Sex
Do you have a fetish for dogging, public sex or voyeurism?

Hostels And Sex Hotels in San Diego
Best hostels for hookups and erotic hotels in San Diego

Safe Sex And Clinics
Play hard but keep safe


Girls in San Diego

While the city is diverse, the three largest races of women in San Diego are Caucasians, Asians, and Hispanics.

Look And Physical Appearance

Most of the girls in San Diego are fit with blonde to brown hair, and light eyes. But in case you meet Asian girls here, you’ll find them to be shorter with black eyes and hair.

Without any doubt, the local Hispanic girls have the sexiest shape with round asses and big breasts. Meanwhile Caucasian and Asian girls tend to be skinny.

Being that San Diego is a beach city with hot weather, the women wear casual clothes like flip-flops and shorts during the day. At night they might wear skirts or dresses.

Attitude And Values

Many girls in San Diego come from rich families. As a result, they grow up being materialistic and focus on having fun. And hookups are one of the favorite entrainments.

Their modern views make them prefer casual relationships in their 20s and only settle down in their 30s.


San Diego women are comfortable with their sexuality and enjoy sex freely without any judgment.

This research states that 33.1% of high school girls in 9th-12th grade ever had sexual intercourse. Also, the same survey state that 92.1% did not use a condom during last sex and birth control pills.

This means San Diego girls are too at ease with sex don’t have the need to use protection with their partners.

Summary of San Diego Girls

  • 3 traits: San Diego women are materialistic, fun-loving, and like exercising.
  • 2 tips: To win over girls in San Diego, look your best physically don’t be shy to show your wealth because they care about it.
  • 1 fact: Girls in San Diego are spoiled by their parents, so they’re dependent on them or their partners.


Men in San Diego

The men in San Diego are frequently White Americans, Asians, and White Americans with Latino heritage, along with other Hispanics.

Look and Physical Appearance

All in all, White San Diego guys have beefy bodies, light-colored characteristics, and are typically 5’10. Comparatively, Asians in San Diego are generally smaller with darker hair and eyes.

As a whole, Hispanics are a bit taller than Asians and have black to dark brown color for both eyes and hair.

Yet, most men in San Diego are fit with muscular bodies no matter their race.

Everyone prefers relaxed but neat-looking outfits like hoodies and T-shirts on top of jeans.

Attitude and Values

For the most part, San Diego men are athletic and adventurous. So they normally enjoy spending their time on fitness, surfing and chasing girls on the beach.

Not so committed to following through on dates, they’re likely to flake when the situation isn’t convenient or a hassle.

Similarly, they’re non-committal when it comes to serious relationships. They prefer to hook up or have friends with benefits arrangements until their 30s.


Men in San Diego can openly exercise their sexuality without problems. This means they can have sex and hook up whenever they want.

This study on San Diego high school male students notes that 37% of 13 – 19-year-olds have ever had sex, and 8.8% had sex with four or more persons.

However, 52% of the respondent did not use a condom during their last sex according to the yearly Youth Risk Behavior Survey.

It’s clear that several San Diego men practice unsafe sex and go for multiple sexual partners until their 30s.

Summary of San Diego Men

  • 3 traits: San Diego guys are athletic, value convenience, and flaky.
  • 2 tips: To get close to San Diego men dress nicely and be friendly but in a chill way. Talk about light topics and don’t pressure them in any way.
  • 1 fact: Lots of men in San Diego are in the Military cause of the 7 military bases here.


Sex Life And Hookup Culture

San Diego people don’t publicly talk about sex like other Californian liberal cities such as Los Angeles and San Francisco.

Overall Mindset About Casual Sex

Given that there’s a slightly conservative presence in comparison to other cities, people here are somewhat more private about their sex lives.

Nonetheless, they still have a positive outlook on sex and enjoy it as much as possible.

Swinger Activities in San Diego

San Diego couples don’t openly talk about their lifestyle because there is a conservative mindset when it comes to sex parties, threesomes and swapping partners.

You’ll find a few swinger clubs that I have reviewed here, but the easiest way to meet up with like-minded people is by using adult sites popular among swingers.

Is It Easy To Hook Up in San Diego?

Getting casual hookups isn’t so easy in San Diego like other Californian cities, but still possible when you visit the right places as explained below.


Where to Meet People For Sex in San Diego

There are plenty of opportunities to hook up in San Diego thanks to the liberal and adventurous mindset of people here.

So let’s explore some of the best places and ways to get laid in San Diego

1. Sex Dating Online

If you’re not a bar hopper and prefer to skip the formalities, finding casual sex and fuck buddies online is the way to go.

The most popular hook up sites in San Diego are Adult Friend Finder and Seeking Arrangement.

best hookup sites in San Diego

On Adult Friend Finder you’ll find plenty of horny singles and couples who’d be down to meet and fuck. It’s a straightforward no string attached hookup site.

If you prefer to go for at least a date before getting naked, then Seeking Arrangement is a better alternative. This site is also the place to look for a fuck buddy or friend with benefits.

We’ve written in details how to hook up online, but in short, these are our top three tips:

  1. State clearly what you’re looking for
  2. Set boundaries
  3. Make an interesting profile


2. Night Hookups in Nightclubs and Bars

San Diego has captivating nightlife and endless night venues.

Parties and drinks go on all night long, and when there’s so much alcohol involved, it’s not surprising that the atmosphere can easily heat up.

Here are some nightclubs and bars in San Diego for singles that offer the best nightlife experience:

• Spin Nightclub – Located at Hancock St, known for its underground house music, this nightclub undoubtedly offers the best dance experience in town for both singles and couples.

• Effin’s Pub & Grill – Located at El Cajon Blvd, this is the best college bar in San Diego.

• Aero Club Bar – Located at India St, this bar is perfect if you’re looking for one night stand. Although make sure to arrive early to grab a seat as the venue quickly gets packed.

• Onyx Room Nightclub – Located at Fifth Ave, want to let yourself loose? The electrifying atmosphere of this venue makes it one of the best nightspots for hookups in town.

• The Coyote Bar & Grill – Although you would have to drive to Carlsbad Village Dr at a 30 minutes’ drive from San Diego, this is undoubtedly the best cougar bars you’ll come across.

Like most cities, the nightlife of San Diego lies in its Downtown area, particularly the Gaslamp Quarter and little Italy.

It is a popular neighborhood that is known for its trendy nightclubs, laidback singles bars and of course, plenty of night time naughtiness among people of all ages.

Otherwise, if you want to enjoy a more laidback atmosphere, then North Park is a cool neighborhood. The University Avenue there particularly attracts a younger crowd due to its quirky bars and cafes.

3. Everyday Life Situations

Finding daytime hookups in San Diego is easy like Sunday morning.

While there are plenty of spots to mingle with strangers, the best place to meet singles in San Diego is undoubtedly the Pacific Beach. There are several bars and a cafe in the area to meet up with someone.

And don’t miss the Sunburn Pool Parties at the Hard Rock Hotel…

Party poll San Diego California hooking up

Sunburn Pool Lounge organize the best pool parties in San Diego

Yet, if you want to connect with some of the most beautiful people in town, then shopping malls like Fashion Valley and Las Americas are crowded with gold diggers.

But if it’s an intelligent conversation you’re after then aim for the area near San Diego State University. With enough wits and humor, you may score a young date there.

Lastly, don’t forget to check out fitness clubs like The Gym to connect with some of the hottest people in town.


4. Sex Clubs: Swinging And Sex Parties in San Diego

San Diego surprisingly has a large closeted online community of swingers. Even if some people appear to be conservative, you never know, they might be into the lifestyle.

The easiest and most private way to meet like-minded people is to use a hookup site popular among couples… Or to visit these top swinger clubs in San Diego:

• Passion Palace – Located near East of Downtown, this swinger club has been around for over two decades. Although it requires a private membership, you’ll get to meet and fuck some of the hottest couples in town.

• Club X – Located at University Ave, this is an organization that hosts private fetish and lifestyle parties for private members.

• Thad’s Club – Located at 3517 East St, this is one of the most popular swinger clubs in town. You and your partner can either relax with other couples in a spa, or go to the BDSM dungeon to indulge in kinky activities.

Entrance swinger club San Diego couples getting laid

Thads place is a private swinger club in San Diego

The entry fee is $17.50 – $40 per person but it may be higher for special events.

5. BDSM in San Diego

There are several sex clubs in San Diego that host fetish parties or have dedicated rooms for people into BDSM activities.

For example, Passion Palace hosts BDSM parties and Thad’s Club even have a playroom for kinksters.

But that’s not it, because there’s also a dedicated fetish club in San Diego called House of Black located near Mira Mesa neighborhood.

Apart from that, you can also use to connect with a large community of BDSM lovers online.

6. Transsexual And Transgenders

San Diego is a liberal city so ideally, it also offers an exciting nightlife for transgender.

There are a few places to meet Ts with North Park and Hillcrest offering the best LGBT nightlife.

Yet, University Ave also has some popular venues like Baja Betty’s where transsexuals can often be found partying.

And if you don’t enjoy meeting transsexuals and transgenders in night venues, you can always use a trans dating site to hookup online.

7. Strip Clubs

strippers San Diego night club

DeJavu show girls.

San Diego is home to some of the raunchiest strip clubs you’ll find in California.

From full nude shows to erotic lap dances, if you plan a visit, then buckle up to have an erotic night.

Below you’ll find the three best strip clubs in San Diego, but the list could be much longer.

• Cheetahs Club – Located at Clairemont Mesa Blvd, a full-nude strip club with a 20$ cover fee and a whole night of bachelor fun.

• Deja Vu Showgirls – Located at Midway Dr, one of the most popular strip clubs in town due to its sexy yet friendly dancers. The entry fee is 10$ for regular members.

• Goldfingers Club – Located at Miramar Rd, another full-nude strip club that offers a sensual atmosphere and a night to remember.


Best Places For Outdoor Sex

San Diego offers warm weather all around the year and has some great outdoor locations for the sexually adventurous.

These are our favorite outdoor sex spots in San Diego:

Mission Trails Park – There are several trails where you can have a private pounding with your partner.

Balck’s Beach – It’s the local nude beach in San Diego ideal for voyeurism if you don’t mind being watched.

Mission Beach – At night next to Guava Beach Park the parking is often used for car sex.

Sunset Cliffs – It’s a rocky experience to have sex below a cliff. The view and atmosphere are just so erotic even if you can only go for sunrise if you don’t want to get disturbed.

Lake Hodges – The paths around this lake offer a relaxing environment where to do your kinky activities.

getting laid San Diego beach cliff

Sunset Cliff in San Diego

A few considerations are to take with you a beach towel to lay down, plus a second one to cover yourself.

Standing for a quickie is possible but be ready to cover-up just in case someone passes by. You don’t want to fright children or get arrested.


Best Hostels And Sex Hotels In San Diego

San Diego is a wild city for solo travelers. If you want to make your stay worth it, then the Gaslamp Quarter is where you should spend the night.

Here are some hotels in San Diego near Gaslamp Quarter:

• Hilton Hotel

• Indigo Hotel

• Marriott Hotel

Alternatively, party animals can head to the following party hostels in San Diego:

• USA Hostels Ocean Beach

• Lucky D’s – (best party hostel in town)

• Beach Bungalow Hostel


Safe Sex And San Diego Clinics

San Diego is full of sexual opportunities, but using protection can help you avoid some major health concerns and unwanted pregnancies.

You can always visit Progressive Health Services and Good to Go for a check-up.

This ends the San Diego sex guide.

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