Feeling Empty After Hookup? 9 Reasons Why You Feel Empty After Casual Sex

The idea of hooking up certainly sounds exciting. You’re having no strings attached sex with a stranger – what could possibly go wrong, right?

Well, unfortunately, that’s what most people think until they start feeling empty and sad afterward.

If you’re undergoing the same emotions, then don’t worry because you aren’t alone.

What you’re experiencing is called postcoital dysphoria (PCD) and it refers to the negative feelings you have after consensual sex. in everyday language is called post hook up depression.

There are no set triggers for PCD, and the reasons vary from person to person.

So in this post, we’ll go over some of the most common reasons why you might be feeling empty after hookup.

9 Reasons Why You Feel Empty After Casual Sex

1. You Got Emotionally Attached

The first rule of casual sex is that you shouldn’t develop an emotional connection with your hook up partner.

But unfortunately, most people aren’t able to control that.

So was it difficult for you to say goodbye to him/her after sex? And do you find yourself constantly thinking about the next time you’d see them?

If so, then it’s safe to assume that you’ve gotten emotionally attached already.

Your mind craves his/her presence now, which in turn, is making you feel empty.

The best course of action here would be to cut all ties with your hook up partner, until at least you don’t get a hold of your emotions.

2. Dissatisfactory Sexual Performance

This one especially applies to men – since most of them have certain expectations regarding their performance in bed.

And the thought of not being able to meet those expectations makes them anxious and depressed.

So did you ejaculate prematurely, or perhaps, you keep asking yourself what your partner thinks of your performance?

Well, these thoughts can commonly cause depression and anxiety among some people. You can try overcoming this by visiting a sex therapist.

3. Probably the Hormonal Changes

Our body produces dopamine in response to sex and other activities we enjoy.

This hormone gives you a sense of pleasure during arousal and intercourse.

But when the session is over, the hormone levels drop dramatically – which in turn, can trigger a negative emotional response.

If PCD is triggered by a change in hormones, then most of the time, you’ll automatically feel better in a few hours.

In case you don’t, try engaging in other activities that can increase your dopamine levels.

4. You Have a Feeling of Guilt

Did you break up recently or perhaps, your relationship is on the decline with your partner?

Regardless of the reason, we don’t recommend having rebound sex because in most cases, it might leave you with excessive guilt.

You’ll feel pleasure during the act, but your world might come crashing down right after the orgasm.

So if your feeling of loneliness is accompanied by a sense of guilt, then this might be the reason.

To overcome this, we would suggest staying away from casual sex until you get your head straight.

Give yourself some time to move on from your past relationship.

5. The Sex Wasn’t Worth It

Our expectations for a hook up can be too high sometimes. You might be walking into it thinking that you’ll achieve the best orgasm in your life.

But in reality, the sex was so awkward that you were left questioning your existence.

If that’s the case, then understand that not all your sexual encounters will be glorious.

However, as Irene Fair suggests in her video that the way to overcome that is by communicating ahead of sex your and their sexual needs:

The most interesting way to do that is by using a sex menu for hookups where you’ll list your personal preferences.

6. You Chose the Wrong Person

There’s a reason why people say that you shouldn’t have casual sex with a person in your close circle.

For example, you can hook up with your best friend in the heat of the moment.

But once done, you might feel empty and regret your decision because of how it would affect your relationship.

That’s why, unless you’re planning to have a FWB relationship, it’s best to avoid hooking up with your close friends.

7. Your Trauma Got Triggered

Individuals can have their sexual traumas triggered after casual sex, especially if the trauma hasn’t been addressed.

This can cause you to have negative feelings.

That’s why if you’ve had any sexual traumas in the past then it’s important to get them addressed by visiting a therapist.

8. The Relationship is Uncertain

Being in an uncertain relationship might also be the reason behind why you’re feeling lonely after sex.

This normally happens to girls who develop one-sided feelings for their hookup partners.

So if you want to overcome this feeling then the first step is to determine if a guy wants a relationship or just a hookup.

If it’s the former, then avoid sleeping with him. You might feel pleasure and excitement while having sex with him.

But after that, you’ll only be left with negative emotions like you were used.

9. Casual Sex Isn’t For You

Lastly, not everyone can separate sex from love.

No matter how hard some people try, they’re bound to develop feelings for their hook up partner.

If you too can’t get physically intimate without developing feelings, then understand that casual sex simply isn’t for you.

It might be the time that you start considering getting into a serious relationship instead.

How Do You Get Over the Feelings After a Hookup

The first step to getting over the feelings after a hookup is to identify the cause.

Each person has different triggers so you need to be honest with yourself about what’s causing those negative feelings.

Addressing the issue will become much easier once you know the exact reason.

If your post hookup depression is caused due to attachment, then avoid hooking up with that person altogether.

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